


That Summer

by Crystalline (EternalWitch)



Category: Free!
Genre: Ex-swimmer Haru, First Everything, First Love, First Meetings, Light Angst, M/M, Non-childhood friend Makoto, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-20 21:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2444198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalWitch/pseuds/Crystalline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nanase Haruka used to be a swimming prodigy. Now, he is the swimming club's ghost member and have long given up on swimming.</p><p>During his summer vacation, a chance encounter with a green-eyed boy turns his life around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of Summer

_Summer comes every year but same summer never comes twice._

 

* * *

 

Right after the bell rang signalling the end of his classes, Haru stood up and gathered his things. His movements were slow and laborious, far different from his energetic classmates who hurried outside the classroom. After all, they did not want to be late for their club activities. Lectures may be over but for them, there was another thing that they needed to excel. Haru, too, was like them before.

The best part of going to school was the after school activities. Haru would always run to reach the pool right away. He wanted to submerge in the water, to become one with it even if he had just stayed in his tub in the morning. The excitement he felt was like meeting someone whom he had not seen in the longest time. Those were the days and those days were long gone.

He sighed. There was no point in reliving the past now. Haru left the classroom and walked down the corridor. Before turning in a corner near the stairs, he heard a familiar voice calling him.

“Ah! He’s there!” He flinched knowing full well that that voice must have belonged to Rei. “Haruka-senpaiii!”

“Haru-chan!” The high-pitched, cheerful voice could only belong to Nagisa. Haru wondered what could his friends wanted from him. If they would pester him about going back to the club, then he would walk out immediately.

The two ran towards him, almost bumping into a student or two in the process. Haru sensed an ominous presence on their faces. Their news, whatever it was, he was not going to like it.

“What do you want?”

“That’s so cold Haru-chan! Rei-chan and I haven’t seen you in the longest time and that’s how you greet us!?” Nagisa whined and pouted at Haru’s indifferent tone.

“That’s right Haruka-senpai! You don’t even appear in our club,” Rei chimed in.

“There’s no point in going there. Besides, shouldn’t you be busy for the summer tournaments?”

“Well…” Nagisa and Rei side-eyed each other uncomfortably. The dark-haired guy realized what they were getting at and he already decided on that matter. He would never compete again.

“No. I told you I don’t want anything to do with the club,” Haru said.

“We haven’t even said anything,” Rei said in a dejected look.

“How about this Haru-chan, before the tournament the three of us will have a mini summer training camp!” The enthusiastic Nagisa announced surprising both Rei and Haruka.

“Didn’t I tell you—”

“Think of it as a summer vacation. We’ll go to an island and the two of us,” pointing at himself and Rei, “will practice while Haru-chan can do what you want.”

“Just a moment Nagisa-kun, what are we talking about again?” Rei asked.

“Actually,” the blonde guy pulled out a piece of paper from his bag and showed it to the other two. It showed a map and a training regimen, “I found this in the club’s room. I think our seniors from decades ago have used this to increase their stamina. They swam long distances in the ocean on deserted islands. Hence, they called this _Summer Training Camp from Hell on a Deserted Island_!”

“De-deserted island!?” Rei exclaimed. “But the ocean is a good change of pace don’t you think Haruka-senpai?”

“Come on Haru-chan, you’ll never know what this summer vacation will bring you,” Nagisa smiled.

Somehow Nagisa’s statement felt like some sort of prediction but Haru decided to ignore it. He refused again and headed home.

 

* * *

 

He was standing in front of a stadium full of faceless spectators. There were Iwatobi school officials watching in the crowd. They wished him goodluck earlier. But Haru knew that those had secret messages as if saying,  _This is important for the school. Don’t screw up_ .

Mixed in the swarm of people were the scouts from different universities. There were reporters in there as well. A certain red head he knew once said that these were important people if they wanted to continue swimming after high school.

The longer Haru stands in the starting block, the more the oppressive feeling in his chest grew. It was painful like every minute the oxygen was getting sucked out of him, making him dizzy. The stare of these spectators, their cheers, everything in this stadium felt wrong. _Just give the signal already. I’ll feel better in the water._ He thought.

The sound of the signal echoed in Haru’s ears. All the swimmers dived into the water, so as Haru. Once in the water, the oppressive feeling was still there, haunting him. He could not swim freely like there were invisible shackles binding his limbs. The water which was crystal clear at the start grew murkier as Haru waded across it. It was as good as swimming in the mud. Haru struggled maintaining an even breathing. Before he knew it, he gasped for air and tried going to the surface to catch a breath. He swam and swam but he did not seem to be getting close to the light. Instead, he was sinking in the deepest part of the dark water. Slowly, he closed his eyes and …

Haru woke up with a start. His shirt was drenched with sweat and he was panting as if he had run a marathon. He stared at the ceiling, lying still on his bed. The room was dark so he figured it must be around midnight.

“A dream…?” He balled his fist on his side while clutching a handful of his blanket. He got up and went to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

Haru replayed the dream in his head. Every night he had the same dream of his tournament before he quit the club. Ever since he was a child, he was called a swimming prodigy. He always had the affinity with water. Being with water brought him infinite joy. He joined and won countless times in tournaments but he had little care about those. They were mere extras, not the very reason Haru was swimming.

He continued swimming until high school. Iwatobi High School Swimming Club was struggling then and when he came, they started winning once more. By this time, Haru gained special yet unwanted attentions. People started pushing their expectations to him. When he competed in his first swimming tournament in high school, he felt like he was swimming to win, to please and answer the expectations of people around him. Their feelings were nothing but a burden. It was suffocating.

His last tournament was in a national competition. Half-way in his lane, he stopped. He just could not continue anymore. This was not the kind of swimming he loved. Everyone was disappointed afterwards but he could care less. Haru was so done with swimming.

 

* * *

 

A few days after, an incessant sound of the doorbell woke Haru up. He got to the door only to find his friends on the other side carrying bags.

“I don’t remember agreeing to your plans, Nagisa.”

“I heard there was some kind of festival in that island to honor their mascot Shimashima-chan,” Nagisa said, wearing that coaxing smile of his.

“Shi-shimashima-chan!?” Haru’s eyes widened when he heard of the mascot. He could not explain it but he had a penchant for mascots. He had to see Shimashima-chan at all cost!

An hour later, they were in Coach Sasabe’s boat heading towards the island.

 

* * *

 

They arrived past noon and Nagisa would not shut up about swimming already. Their training starts the next day so they had a free time for now. As soon as they were done packing, his two juniors went out to check the beach. Haru remained in their hotel and after a while, decided to walk around the area, anywhere but the sea.

At dinner, they had a simple meal in the hotel’s restaurant. Nagisa narrated animatedly their adventures at the shore. The duo expressed how they would have wished Haru was there with them. Haru pretended he did not see the pleading look in the eyes of his friends.

It was almost eleven when he woke up and could not go back to sleep. Unable to rest, he decided to jog. He ran around the area until he realized that his feet brought him to the sea. The air was cool and damp and the smell of sea breeze filled his nostrils. The sound of the waves called out to him, enchanting him to take a dip and he did. With tentative steps, he approached the water apprehensively. The feel of it in his feet was calming him, his previous listlessness flowing out of his body. He then removed the remaining of his clothes. Perhaps due to years of swimming, he had not removed the habit of wearing his swimming trunks underneath.

“I’ll swim for a while,” he said to himself. He took a breath and dived in the water.

 _A while_ turned hours and Haru did not know anymore how long he stayed there. He was happy to be with water like this again. He swam and until he was exhausted before returning to the hotel.

 

* * *

 

A tall guy with brown hair sat on the sand not so far away from Haru. Until the arrival of Haru, he had been watching the ocean and the darkness beyond it. The sound of the waves was music to his ears. The beauty and enigma of water captivating him.

He sat there for who-knows-how-long until a guy, not so far from his age came to the shore. It was rare for a person, especially a teenage guy, to come here at this late hour. With curious eyes, he followed the movements of the mysterious guy. This person was cautious in approaching the water as if the ocean was some kind of a wild animal.

When he finally swam, the brunet was amazed by his swimming prowess. It was lovely. He was fascinated in an instant, like the guy was one with the water. The brunet watched as the other guy padded through the water full of grace. He could not keep his emerald eyes off the dark-haired guy. In all those nights that he came to the sea, today seemed to be special to witness such a rare sight.

He was disappointed when the other guy left but it was getting cold out there. He wondered who this person might be for he was not a familiar face. The guy piqued his interest and most of all, he wanted to see him swimming again.


	2. Storm in Summer

Just as what they agreed on, Haru sat on the shore and watched his friends train in the sea. Nagisa and Rei had gotten better since the last time he saw them swim. They had beautiful forms and polished techniques. They were still far from perfect but they were getting there. Haru’s chest swelled with pride.

As he continued watching them swam long distances in between the neighbouring islands, Haru was mesmerized by how they became one with water with each stroke. He clutched his chest as a pain shot through it. _Becoming one with water_ , he thought. Memories of last night flashed in his mind; the feel of water on his skin, the scent of sea breeze enveloping his body, and the sound of waves resonating in his ears. The feeling of complete bliss and calmness of being in the water was magical.

Haru edged his right foot closer to the water like a frightened child approaching something dangerous. The coolness felt wonderful and he wanted to take a dip right then and there. He moved towards the water slowly, a familiar thrill running through his veins. The thrill he thought he had forgotten a long time ago but it surprised him to find it in the deepest part of his consciousness.

He was almost in the water when he heard noises around him. Not just any kind of noise but cheers from the crowd. On instinct, he looked up and once again he was standing in a stadium full of faceless spectators. Horrified, he scrambled back to the shore. He ran away from the water as fast as he could. Never again will he swim. Ever.

 

* * *

  

Haru had no idea how long had he been running. It must be for some time now as his throat was parched. Someone called his name and he gasped when he recognized the voices. His friends were running after him, calling his name. Perhaps they saw him running away from water, petrified. They must be worried. Haru made them worry for who knows how many times now. He schooled his features and faced them.

“Haru-chan! What happened?” Nagisa cried as he clung to Haru.

“…Nothing. I was just… thirsty,” Haru lied but they all knew the truth. The dark-haired was relieved when they did not call him out on that and changed the subject instead.

“If you are looking for a place to drink, then that café should do right?” Rei pointed at a nearby establishment.

“It’s almost noon, we should grab something to eat too,” Nagisa said as they all head towards the café, “… or so I thought.”

It was not the peak of summer yet this place was bustling with people. The café was full of customers, _female_ customers in particular. They squealed and chattered at the same time, making Haru dizzy. They did not seem to be there to eat though and he wished they would let _real_ customers eat in peace.

“Tachibana-kun!!!  Look over here!” the girl on his left cried out.

“Kyaa! Mako-chan smiled at me!” The other said.

“That tall waiter is as cool as always,” a girl with bluish hair said to her friend.

“He’s kind and gentle too! Like a perfect boyfriend!” the other answered.

Haru sighed. He wondered what these girls came here for. But he had to admit that he was curious to see who was this popular waiter. He tiptoed, trying to get a glimpse of that person but it wasimpossible with the ridiculous amount of fangirls swarming the café. All he ever saw was the broad back, brown hair, and green eyes. Perhaps being a café near the beach, said waiter was only wearing an apron over his trunks.

“I don’t think we can eat here,” Rei said while pushing back his glasses and obviously uncomfortable.

“You’re right, Rei-chan. Let’s go back to the hotel,” the blonde said to which the other two agreed.

Meanwhile, the brunet waiter looked over his shoulder to the now open spot where the other three stood and thought he saw a familiar figure in the crowd.

 

* * *

 

He found himself standing in the shore again.

Haru could not sleep and decided to walk around like last night. Like the previous evening, his feet brought him to the ocean. But this time, he did not think twice. He wanted to confirm something. While confirming what he felt before would not change anything, he wanted to feel it again nonetheless. He striped and dived into the water in no time.

He floated in it while staring at the night sky. This was the kind of serenity he missed. He did not want to admit but he missed being in this tranquil state feeling nothing but the water. But he was still not unsure he was ready to face it again, if water could free him from his past. Haru was unsure of so many things. He was tired of being half-assed in everything. In due time, he could face the water like before. Just not now. With those thoughts swirling in his head, he submerged once again, not noticing the dark clouds enveloping the sky.

Haru opened his eyes as soon as he felt the violent surge of the water. He popped his head on the surface and saw the waves crashing wildly on the rocks. The clear sky a few minutes ago seemed like a dream for it was nothing but dark clouds now. There were also lightning and thunder. The heavy rain and strong wind further intensified the rampaging sea.

“This can’t be…” Haru uttered. Nobody said there would be storm tonight. The weather forecast announced that it will be cloudless. He swam back to the shore but the tides were pushing him back. He was engrossed in swimming that he had not realized he was getting farther from the island. _Is this going to be his end?_

In his blurred vision, he saw someone coming from the shore and swimming towards him. _That’s futile. You can’t win against a billowing sea._ But that person continued to swim, pushing harder at the raging waves. This sparked a tiny hope in Haru. He wanted to fight back, swim harder just like this person. He did not want to waste the effort this person had put into to rescue him.

A few meters away from Haru, the other person stopped swimming. The person who appeared to be a guy looked at something behind Haru, his face stricken with fear. It was not an ordinary fear as far as Haru could tell. It was as if the other guy was seeing other events than the now which paralyzed him. Haru turned around to see an upcoming humongous wave. He swam faster, grabbing the other person. It was a now or never for the two of them.

 

* * *

 

Haru half-carried and half-dragged the big body of the other guy to an island on the opposite side of the island where they came from. The rain had not let up yet. It seemed that the storm would continue until morning. But Haru was more concerned to the person beside him. He lay down the body on the sand and listened to the other’s heartbeat. To his relief, the taller guy’s heart was beating albeit weakly. The guy needed immediate help.

“Help! Anyone!” Haru called out for help and looked around for any signs of life in the island. Save for the storm, the island was quiet. With no other choice, he hovered his mouth over the other’s pale lips. A few centimeters away, the body below him stirred and started coughing. Something was lifted off in Haru’s chest as the brunet opened his eyes.

“Wha—,” the tall guy started, taking in the surroundings. Recognition flashed on his face as his eyes fell on Haru. “I—uh—uhm,” he stammered.

“Can you walk? Let’s get to that shade over there first,” Haru pointed to a cave-like rock formation on the side of the island. He helped the brunet on walking as he wobbled the moment he stood. They sat on a rock side-by-side. Now that Haru saw the guy clearly, he recognized him as the waiter at the beach café. The gentle face he showed there was replaced with a sullen look.

“I’m sorry,” the waiter murmured.

“You don’t have to apologize. I should be thankful to you,” Haru said, “if it wasn’t because of you, I’d probably…,” he trailed off and stared at the still billowing sea.

“You still ended up saving _me_ though. That’s so uncool,” the brunet laughed despite himself.

Before Haru could retort, he sneezed surprising the guy beside him. They were out in the cold for a long time now.

“We should get to a warmer place,” the tall guy smiled at Haru, “Let’s go there,” he pointed to a lighthouse.

The two of them headed to the place and found that it was a deserted lighthouse. The inside appeared dark and creepy.

“S-shouldn’t we go look at another place?” The brunet suggested, his voice quivering to which Haru guessed was out of fear – that was different from the one he saw before.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I don’t think we can find another place to stay in this island,” Haru said to the other guy who turned ghastly pale. “You’ll be fine. You’re with me,” the waiter tried to protest but was silenced when Haru took his hand and lead the way inside. There was something with this guy or their situation that made Haru bold. He never thought that there would come a day that he would hold another man’s hand or take the lead.

The more they walked inside, the more Haru felt the brunet shiver and sometimes almost jumped out of nervousness. But everytime, Haru gripped the other’s hand assuring him and the waiter would be at ease again. Along the way, they managed to find a flashlight so navigating through the lighthouse was easier. They also found some still edible canned foods and a can opener. The two settled on a warm place and ate in silence. It was a comfortable silence and Haru was thankful for that. The rain continued to pour as they eat.

“Do you feel like sleeping?” The brunet asked to which Haru shook his head in response. “Me too. What should we do now~” the last sentence was more of a sing-song statement than of a question.

Haru glanced at the brunet then back to the ground. He fidgeted as he pondered on the question that was bugging him.

“You are wondering why I tried saving you even if I’m afraid of the water,” the waiter voiced out the question that’s eating Haru and the dark-haired was surprised by it. “You don’t have to be surprised,” the other chuckled. “Somehow I felt like you wanted to ask me but you are also holding yourself back thinking that I might not like it.”

His guess was spot on but Haru did not reply and just stared at the ground.

“I don’t mind telling you since I think I owe you an explanation. Besides, you’ve already seen my uncool sides. To be honest, I am afraid of the ocean, of the water,” he started, “The water is alive. It is wonderful but it can also be terrifying. As part of nature, when it goes out of hand, humans are powerless.”

Haru was astonished to find someone who thought about water like him. But he was even more astounded to find out a deeper source of the other’s fear of water. He chose not to ask any more questions. The hurt on the other’s face as the brunet gazed outside the window was hard for Haru to bear. He sat there and listened quietly.

“But when I saw _you_ out there, thrashing in the sea,” he looked at Haru, “I felt the need to save you, to get you to safety.”

The way the waiter said _you_ felt as if he was looking out for Haru and not just saving a random person. This caused an involuntary thumping of his chest. Haru could have sworn his face was on fire.

“Yet, as you see, it was the other way around,” again with that self-deprecating smile.

“Stop saying that,” after a long silence on his part, Haru said all of a sudden. “Even knowing that you are no good with water, you dived in and saved me. That is cool. You are the coolest!” Haru said the words full of conviction. He needed the brunet to believe in him, in his self as well.

The waiter was quiet for a while making Haru uncomfortable. The other guy was obviously taken aback by Haru’s words and was gaping at the dark-haired guy. Haru wished the guy would say something. In an attempt to change the subject, Haru looked outside the window and noticed that the storm had passed. “The rain had stopped,” he said as he scrambled outside.

“Ah! Wait!” The brunet called after him.

They arrived outside and the sky was as clear and bright like earlier that evening. The stars twinkled above them as if the storm never happened. Haru heard the brunet gasped and turned to what the other was looking at.

The ground below them was covered by water thus reflecting the night sky. It was as if they were standing in the sky together with the stars.

“Thank you,” the brunet said, “for saving me, for saying that I’m cool, for showing me a sight I’ve never seen before.” His entire face lit up and his mouth formed into a smile, “I owe you a lot ---, I didn’t ask for your name!” His green eyes widened in shock, “That is rude of me. I’m Tachibana Makoto.”

“Nanase Haruka.”

His features brightened again as he said, “Thank you Nanase-kun!” and he had that gentle smile again.

“D-don’t sweat it,” Haru stammered. How could he be expected to form coherent reply when _that_ smile was distracting him. Now he finally understood why the fangirls almost fainted on the spot when they saw that.

At dawn, they stood at the shore gauging the sea. It was calmer than the previous night. They could also see the island on the other side. In broad daylight, the distance between the islands was not that far. They could swim back if they wanted to. But Haru was worried about Makoto and his fear of water. He glanced to his side only to find the other staring at him.

“I’m alright, you don’t have to worry about me,” Tachibana smiled, reassuring him.

It amazed Haru how this guy could read his mind like no one else’s.

“I may be afraid but it doesn’t change the fact that I know how to swim,” Tachibana said, “Besides, you are with me.”

Haru blushed remembering what he told the brunet before they entered the light house. Hiding his embarrassment he dived in the water first with Tachibana following closely behind. Every once in a while he would stop and look behind him.

They were exhausted upon arriving at the shore. Now that they were back, they had to part ways and return to their lives. Haru was disheartened by this reality. It had not even been a day since they had met but he already felt familiar with Tachibana. The taller guy was comfortable to be with as he understood Haru the most to which the dark-haired found funny.

Sensing his gloomy mood, Makoto turned to him. “Nanase-kun, I haven’t thanked you enough for saving me so if you don’t mind,” the brunet fidgeted to which Haru found cute, “visit our café near the beach. You’ll find it easily. I’ll treat you with our café’s specialty!”

Haru wanted to protest that he did not ask to be compensated but a part of him wanted to see the other guy again. He uttered a soft, “See you then.”

Tachibana smiled brightly and the two started walking in separate ways.


	3. Everything Has Changed

“It feels natural having Mako-chan with us, right?” Nagisa whispered to Haru.

The four of them strolled around the town with Rei and Tachibana in deep discussion of something, walking ahead of Nagisa and Haru. All of them sort of clicked together right away when the three of them ate lunch at the café where Tachibana works. Haru introduced him to his friends and told them the summary of how they met. The waiter then offered to roam around the town after his shift.

“…Yeah,” Haru answered as he looked at the back of the other two.

It was weird when you had just met someone and felt an instant connection as if you had known them since forever. Haru thought that his group of friends seemed balanced having the mediator Tachibana with them. The thought made him happy and sad at the same time. Today would be the first and last time they would be together like this.

It felt like his chest was being gripped when he thought of their departure the next day. As much as he wanted to deny, he enjoyed the trip more than he thought he would be.

“Are you okay Nanase-kun?”

Not realizing that he had been staring long and hard at the ground all this time, Haru raised his head and met a pair of worried emerald eyes. He did not notice that they stopped walking and was now looking at him.

He was about to answer when Nagisa butted in. “Eeeh, how did Mako-chan know? Haru-chan did not even change his expression.”

Flustered, Tachibana tried to explain but failed. The more frustrated he got, the redder his cheeks turned which amused Haru.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei said, “stop teasing Makoto-san. By the way, isn’t it about time for that shop to close? The one that you wanted to visit?”

The blonde gasped beside Haru. “Rei-chan thanks for reminding me! Let’s go now! See you later Haru-chan, Mako-chan!”

The two ran off, leaving Haru and Tachibana alone.

Haru knitted his eyebrows. “What was that?”

“I’m not sure,” Tachibana said, letting out a nervous laugh. “But are you sure you’re okay?”

Haru nodded. Unsure of what to do, he let his eyes wander to anything but the guy beside him.

Makoto broke the silence. “When will go back to your town?”

“Tomorrow.”

_Tomorrow_ left a heavy atmosphere around them. Haru knew that his life was in Iwatobi but he thought that being here was fun too. The next day they would leave, he would have to face reality again. Everyone would badger him to swim but he was not sure he would look at the water and not remember the things that happened in the island.

“There is a festival for Shimashima-chan today. I’ll take you there.” Tachibana said, eager to change the topic, and Haru agreed.

They walked around, visited a lot of stalls, and tried different things. Haru never imagined that Shimashima-chan’s Day could be this exciting!

“Nanase-kun, there’s another place that I’d like show you.” Tachibana gestured for Haru to follow him.

Haru had no idea where they would go as they walked farther from the crowd. They reached the beach and found it isolated which was no surprise since most people were in the festival. But Tachibana kept on walking. Haru was about to ask him when he noticed Rei and Nagisa waiting for them.

“Where have you been?” Haru asked.

The duo looked at each other and smiled before showing a big sand cake behind them.

“Happy birthday Haru-chan!”

“Happy birthday Haruka-senpai!”

Haru blinked. “Thank you…”

He was stunned to move. He just stood there and stared at their grinning faces.

Even Makoto was smiling beside him. “Happy birthday Nanase-kun.”

The truth dawned on Haru.

“We couldn’t make the real thing so we came up with this. We even asked Makoto-san to help us,” Rei explained.

“Here,” Nagisa said as he handed them fireworks.

While Nagisa and Rei played in the sand, Haru sat on the shore holding his firework and watching the sea. Spending his birthday with water was not bad at all.

He felt Tachibana sat beside him and joined him watching the sea.

“Thank you,” Haru said, his eyes never leaving the water.

“That’s nothing Nanase-kun. I wanted to do something for your birthday too.”

“You can call me Haru.”

Tachibana smiled. “Then you can call me Makoto, Haru. Also,” Makoto pulled something out of his pocket, “this is my birthday and parting gift for you.” He handed him a Shimashima-chan keychain and a dolphin phone strap. 

Haru took the presents from Makoto and uttered a soft thank you. The overwhelming joy made his brain go haywire and could not put his feelings of gratitude into words.

“I could have gotten you a better gift if I’ve known it before today. I heard you like Shimashima-chan so I got you a keychain.”

“What about the dolphin?” Haru asked as he stared at the phone strap.

“The dolphin reminds me of you when you are in the water. A beautiful and free creature.”

Haru looked at Makoto’s sea green eyes. Haru’s favourite color now. Their conversation might have died down but the comfortable air around them puts Haru at ease. He had never been this calm around water.

 

* * *

 

Haru stared at the ceiling of his room and thought that the previous night was all a dream. In fact, their entire trip must have been an illusion because he everything felt surreal.

Before they left Iwatobi, he dreaded coming in this place surrounded with water. But now, it was the opposite. He dreaded leaving this place for Iwatobi. But he had too.

Dragging his body, he prepared for their departure. After an hour, Coach Sasabe’s boat came to pick them up. With one last look at the island, Haru took a step on the boat and they sailed off.


	4. Rumor Has It

Seasons changed and everyone moved on from the summer heat to welcome autumn. But for Haru, he wished summer would linger a little longer this year.

Like changing leaves of autumn, Haru knew somewhere inside him changed too. It was subtle, barely noticeable but definitely there, waiting to be acknowledged. Instead, he did the opposite; he continued his life as it was as if that summer did not happen, as if _they_ had not met.

So life went on as per usual, even when school opened again. As Haru looked outside the window, he saw a bird soaring in the sky. He was captivated by the scene for a while. It looked so free.

Resting his chin on his left hand, completely ignoring his lecture, he wondered when did his life turned from being free to being bound by invisible shackles. He knew the answers but that did not stop him from being paralyzed just by the thought of going in the water. Until last summer.

 

* * *

 

“Haruka-senpai are you listening?”

Gou peered at him when he did not answer her. The two of them, with Rei and Nagisa, ate at the rooftop. They used to eat together during lunch before Haru went MIA in their club. This time, the three of them dragged him out of his classroom to join them at lunch.

“I said the club will be closed down if we don’t recruit members before the tournament next in summer.”

“I see.”

“Don’t _I see_ me!” Gou yelled, attracting the attention of other students in the rooftop. “This is an emergency!”

“But how are we going to attract members when we can’t even practice at this time of the year?” Rei said causing Gou and Nagisa to look more dejected than they already were.

Not so far away from where they were sitting, a group of male students were chatting, loud enough for the entire rooftop to hear.

“A transfer student you say?” The guy with dark hair asked.

“I heard the teachers talking about it when I was called in the faculty room,” the more geeky-looking guy said.

“Is it a girl?”

“I hope it’s a beautiful girl with a big chest!” the guy wearing a gray sweater motioned it with his hand.

Geeky-kun grinned. “I saw the name and it’s definitely a girl.”

“Some also said that she’s tall with green eyes.”

The sound of the bell rang throughout the entire school.

“We should continue this discussion after school,” Rei said as he stood up.

“Haru-chan let’s go,” Nagisa said and Haru followed his friends towards the door.

 

* * *

“Come to think of it, he also has green eyes,” Haru muttered as he sat by the seashore, watching the dark horizon in the sea.

In the change of season, Haru found himself with a new habit. Every night, after dinner, he would take a stroll in the seashore. He took great comfort in the gentle sea breeze and watched the water as it rolled in and out of the sand. His friends would be surprised to know that.

Those green eyes were the warmest he had ever seen. The warmest, the kindest, and all the positive superlative attributes he could think of.

“Why does she have the same color eyes as he is?” Because he knew, even before they meet, there was only one person he would be reminded of with that eye color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortest chapter so far. ^^;;; Hopefully, you enjoyed. :)
> 
> EDIT (5-31-15): Edited this chapter. I hope this is better than the first. Still a short chapter though. ;;;


	5. 50 Shades of Green

Sometimes life had its own twisted sense of humor.

The moment the transfer student stepped inside the classroom, Haru felt a knot in his gut that showed no signs of untangling soon. He was the last person Haru expected to find in Iwatobi. In his school. In his classroom.

But nonetheless he’s here, standing in front of the class, looking exactly like the last time Haru had seen him at the beach, if not tanner.

Amakata-sensei introduced him briefly but none of it registered to Haru. Actually none of this was registering at all. He remained shell-shocked in his seat and he could not help but think that somehow the universe conspired against him. Or making fun of him. Or both.

“I’m Tachibana Makoto. Nice to meet you!” Makoto bowed before returning to his usual bright smile.

Haru could practically hear the suppressed groaning of the guys. Afterall, they were hoping for a girl, not a big guy with a feminine name. Haru pitied them as not only their dreams were crushed but they have a strong contender for the girls’ attention. The girls swooned right then and there when Makoto walked in. Haru remembered not-so-good memory of Makoto’s fangirls.

The object of everyone’s attention seemed unfazed at all. That or he was being clueless about it. He looked over the class, his smile unwavering. Haru was thankful he was sitting in the far corner of the room. If he could only stay hidden…

“Let’s see, your seat is… over there. Beside Nanase-kun.”

At the sound of the familiar name, Makoto’s features lighted up, his eyes immediately caught Haru’s. All of a sudden Haru’s world was full of green and he could hear a faint sound of water.

Haru was the first to break their eye contact but he could still feel those green eyes staring at him as Makoto approached his seat. He looked outside the window trying to shake whatever unknown feeling budding inside him.

“Good to see you, Haru.”

 

* * *

From what little amount of time Haru spent beside Makoto, he noticed how hard it was for the guy to brush off someone or tell them to back off when people were bugging him. Haru knew that he’s nice. In fact, _too nice_ for his own good. And Haru was the one getting annoyed by it.

Not long after their teacher left and for them to finally have lunch, the girls crowded themselves around Makoto. Haru watched as the girls bombarded the guy with different questions.

“Where did you come from?”

“Do you play any sports?”

“What are your hobbies?”

“Do you plan on joining any clubs?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Makoto answered them politely at first until the questions grew ridiculous as he became helpless. Haru heaved a sigh. At this rate, he would not be able to eat at peace.

He stood up from his chair and gathered his lunch box. Only Makoto looked at his side and Haru shot him a look before walking towards the door, hoping that he would get the message.

“Sorry, I promised to eat lunch with Haru,” were the last thing Haru heard before leaving the classroom followed by quick footsteps closing in behind him until Makoto was walking beside him. A comfortable silence ensued until they have reached the roof top.

Few students were already there eating with their friends. The two boys chose near the wall and started eating.

“Thank you,” Makoto said gracing Haru with his tender gaze as the other.

“For what?”

“For what you did back there.”

“… I didn’t do anything.”

Instead of replying, Makoto only smiled at Haru. “Still, thank you.”

A comfortable silence once again filled up the atmosphere and Haru enjoyed it. This sense of ease and serenity could only be felt when he’s with Makoto. When he was with other people, an awkward silence filled the air that at times, he found himself wanting to dispel it but could not find the right words. With Makoto, words were not important. Silence speaks volumes for them.

“I was surprised to see you here though.”

Haru was about to open his mouth and ask Makoto why he was here when the door of the rooftop flung open revealing Nagisa, Rei, and Gou. All of them frantically scanned the rooftop searching for someone.

“Ah!” Gou spotted Haru first and they hurried to where their seniors sat.

“Haruka-senpai! We have an emergency!”

“Haru-cha—Mako-chan?” Nagisa stopped in his tracks before picking up his pace and rushed towards Makoto.

“Nagisa! Rei!” Makoto looked as delighted as the other two and they exchanged cheerful greetings.

Gou moved to Haru’s side and whispered, “Who might he be? Your acquaintance?”

“We met him at the island last summer.”

“You mean he’s the waiter Nagisa-kun talked about?”

Considering how Nagisa enjoyed their vacation-slash-secret training, he could not stop himself from blabbing about Makoto. No wonder even Gou had heard about it.

“That’s right. You two haven’t met. Makoto-senpai this is Gou-san, our club manager. She is in the same year as us.”

“Have we met somewhere?” Gou asked.

Nagisa grinned. “Gou-chan hitting on Mako-chan right off the bat.”

“It’s not like that! He just looks familiar.”

“Anyway, Haruka-senpai we need your help!” Rei turned towards Haru.

“Sensei told us that they’ll close the club if we don’t get five members,” Gou said.

“What do you want me to do then?”

“Go back to the club Haruka-senpai. Then help us find another member,” Rei said.

“I won’t do either of them.”

“Don’t be so cold Haru-chan.”

All this time Makoto watched and listened to them plead and beg Haru. “Excuse me, which club do you all belong to?”

They stopped talking at once and looked at Makoto as if he asked if the world was ending now. Nagisa recovered fast, his eyes glinting the same way as when he suggested that island trip. Haru knew he already had formulated a plan.

“Mako-chan what do you think of joining the swimming club?” He asked in that sweet, conniving tone that no one had ever managed to resist.

Before any of them could react, Haru answered. “Don’t drag him into this.”

“But Makoto-senpai’s our last hope. If we don’t get enough members, they’’ll demolish the club and we won’t be able to join the competition.”

“No.”

Just as the three dropped their shoulders in defeat Makoto spoke up.

“I don’t mind taking a look at the club first.”

Their friends perked up in delight and exchanged excited looks as Makoto smiled reassuringly at them. Haru shot him a sharp look as if saying _don’t be ridiculous_.

He might not know the full details but Haru was sure Makoto have a fear of water that has a deeper root, way deeper than Haru could imagine. He could not fathom why he would volunteer for something that involves water.

“Then let’s go to the swimming club later!” Nagisa announced.

 

* * *

“It’s been a while Nanase. Are you going to go back to swimming now?” Coach Sasabe greeted them as Makoto and Haru came to Iwatobi swim club to watch Nagisa and Rei swim where the club held practices on off seasons. ”My, my what do we have here? Are you the new recruit?” 

“New prospect Goro-chan,” Nagisa corrected.

Haru slipped away as they chattered at the poolside. He wandered around the lobby, looking at the pictures posted on the wall. He even found their old picture hanging there with other pictures of other kids. Haru traced the image of his younger self scowling at the camera while his friends beamed after winning their relay.

The kid scowling back at Haru seemed like a different person. He may look a lot like him, may have the same name as him but they were not the same. Haru thought how funny it was to be estranged to oneself. The old him would have jumped into the water right then and there. But now he stayed as far away as possible from it.

“So this is where you went to.”

Haru felt the corners of his lips darted upwards a little. Somehow he had a gut feeling that Makoto would find him. It was funny and stupid if you think about it but Haru took comfort at the thought. Soon the others came afterward, as Haru heard footsteps and loud conversations coming from the pool and towards them to where they were standing.

“What are you looking at Haruka-senpai?”

“Look at this Rei-chan!” Nagisa tugged at Rei’s arm. “This is when we won in the relay.”

“You’re all very young here!” Gou said. “This is before my brother left right?”

“That’s right. It was Rin-chan’s idea to join the relay.” Nagisa said before turning to his side. “What is it Rei-chan?”

“Look this kid here…” Rei said as he squinted, peering at the picture. The others followed suit.

Haru looked over at their shoulders. On the picture with the four of them, on the far left side over Rei’s shoulder, there was a side-view of a boy with brown hair smiling at his teammates. He gasped as he stared at the profile of the kid.

“Mako-chan?”

“No wonder he looked familiar! I’ve seen you in one of my brother’s competition!”

“Then that means Makoto-senpai swims too?”

Everyone looked at Makoto eagerly. He backed away before easing up a forced smile.

“No. I’ve stopped long ago.”

 

* * *

Another life’s little surprise for Haru was Makoto’s home. He was surprised to know that Makoto will go the same way as him after parting ways with Rei and Nagisa. 

They passed by the seashore and Haru looked at it fondly. It was funny how last night he was here thinking of Makoto and now the guy was here beside him looking at the same scenery as him.

“It’s beautiful,” Makoto said and Haru couldn’t agree more.

Haru glanced at his side. Makoto looked serene at first glance but his eyes were alert, like he was expecting another storm that could wash them away from the shore. He looked back at the ocean and wondered what bad things could have been there that made Makoto scared and scarred. It’s not even on the same level of scare he had of the dark. It was something deeper, something dark lurking at the bottom of the sea.

“Do you remember,” Makoto started, “that time when yo—we almost… that time in the island?”

Haru nodded. How could he forget that night? It was a terrifying yet splendid night for Haru. Makoto continued.

“I never really answered your question about my fear of water.”

“And you don’t have to.” Because, seriously, Haru was getting tired seeing Makoto being like this, miserable; as though the lights in him were flickering, threatening to die if they have not gone out yet.

“But I want to,” he lets out a breathe letting all the tension that build up inside him. “I want to, Haru. If it’s you, it’s fine.”

Haru had no words for this. There were moments in your life when you know you needed to say something, anything but could not. He berated himself for not being prepared for something like this. It’s not like he did not understand whatever’s bugging Makoto. He was scared of the water too though it seemed a trivial matter compared to Makoto’s fear. Not knowing what to do, Haru held the other’s hand.

He knew right away that holding Makoto’s hand was the perfect response he could give and what the other needed. That hand that trembled a bit went still when their hands came in contact. All of Makoto went still for a second, before relaxing once more. Haru hoped that his message, _I’m here,_ came across. Because words were not important with Makoto.

 

* * *

Haru had no idea how long had they been sitting there, holding hands. It could have been a few minutes, or hours or a lifetime and Haru would not care. He could stay there with Makoto for another millennium. 

In between the sounds of waves and gush of wind, Makoto told him how he used to be a swimmer when he was young. They lived on the other side of Iwatobi and he made friends with a fisherman. The old man was very kind to Makoto, he even gave little Makoto money when he was watching on the sideline while other kids scooped goldfishes because he already spent all of his allowance. He even told Haru how a storm took away the kind old man, along with the other fishermen.

Haru could picture a young Makoto watching a throng of people wearing white, lining up for a ceremony to grieve for the poor fishermen. All this time, he had not let go of the hand he was holding. Instead, he held it tighter like he would have if he was with Makoto at that time. But that was then and this was now. If this was enough to ease the shaky feeling Makoto have, then Haru was willing to hold his hand no matter how long he needed to do that.

 

* * *

“To think that we even live in the same area,” Makoto said, apparently in a lighter mood than before. This was too much of a coincidence. Of all of Iwatobi, Makoto had to live a few steps below Haru’s. 

Haru was about to continue climbing the stony steps when Makoto grabbed him by the wrist.

“Thank you.”

Haru nodded but Makoto’s gripped grew stronger. “Really, thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm still alive and this story will continue. :D It took me a while to finish the entire fic and now it's finally done! So expect a more frequent update... hopefully. ;D
> 
> By the way, I've edited Chapter 4. Please check it out if you have time. :)


	6. A Certain Redhead

Haru woke up with his cellphone ringing non-stop.

“Haru, are you up?” The brusque voice on the other line could only belong to one person whom he knew for the longest time. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling.

“Rin.”

 

* * *

 

He was relentless.

No matter how many times Haru told Makoto to not wait for him every morning, the other just did it all the same. This morning was no exception.

Just like all the other mornings, Makoto was surrounded with cats. _Cats._ As if Makoto had a charm for every feline in the area. And children. And old people. People of all ages and all walks of life were at ease with him.

Even Haru. Not like he was going to admit that out loud.

Makoto noticed him and stopped playing with the cat. “Good morning, Haru.”

“I thought I told you not to wait for me anymore,” Haru descended through the stairs and walked past Makoto.

“But it’s meaningless to go alone when our houses are this close,” Makoto said as he caught up with Haru. They walked in silence until they passed by the sea.

“It’s almost winter,” Makoto said. “The sea breeze is becoming too strong.”

Haru stared at the sea and his mind drifted back to his conversation with Rin.

 

* * *

“Listen, my former coach in Australia invited me to come over this summer,” he said. “I mean, during _their_ summer.”

“What’s that supposed to do with me?”

“You’ve been holing yourself up in your room and you don’t go to your club activities right? Might as well have a change of pace.”

A soft _huh_ escaped from Haru’s lips while stifling a yawn. A couple more minutes of sleep sounded heaven.

“Oi Haru! Don’t you dare hang up on me!” Rin’s voice reverberated in his ear. “Fine. If you ever change your mind, call me right away.”

 _As if._ Haru thought as he drifted back to sleep.

 

* * *

“Haru?”

 He blinked a few times before turning his gaze towards Makoto where he met a worried look from the guy. He shook his head in response.

“Have you thought about what Nagisa and the others said?” Haru asked after a while.

 “About joining the club?” Haru nodded.

“I’m still not sure…” Makoto looked back at the sea they passed by.

  _How could you even think about it?_ Haru wanted to ask. Makoto’s biggest fear was water. What’s there to think about?

 

* * *

 

Lunch time used to be serene. But recently, Haru found himself surrounded with his friends, Makoto included. He shunned Rei and Nagisa before in an attempt to dispel any reminder of the swimmer Haru. Since Makoto was now a prospect member, Nagisa wasted no time in recruiting him. Everyday, those two would dropped by their classroom, like today.

“Goro-chan mentioned that there’s going to be Junior Olympic Cup – Iwatobi SC version this spring! Let’s join!”

Haru pretended to not hear what Nagisa said. Makoto let out a nervous laugh. Haru watched him and fear started to rise in his chest. He hoped he was being paranoid about the whole thing, that Makoto would not do it.

Or so Haru hoped as he stared at the vacant desk beside him. A few minutes had passed since Makoto told him that there’s somewhere he had to go. Haru knew where he could have been. But he remained on his seat, motionless, not being able to fathom why Makoto would go _there_. He could not, for the life of him, think why he was even bothered by this. By Makoto.

After turning the idea on every side in his head, Haru stood up and grabbed his things.

 

* * *

Unlike when he still frequented in the club room, the entire place was quiet. No sign of life in this side of the school save for the rustling of leaves.

The moment he stepped out of the locker room, the smell of chlorine hit his nose and a wave of nostalgia washed over him. He walked towards the pool and noticed _few_ fallen leaves. The others must have been maintaining the area even on off season like this.

He found on the far right side the person he was looking for. Makoto had loosened his tie and folded the length of his shirt and pants, his bare legs dipped in the water.

Haru stood on the doorway for a while before Makoto turned to his side. His eyebrows crunched up a bit before his eyes widen.

“I knew you’d be here,” Haru took small steps towards the other guy, not breaking their eye connection.

Makoto smiled. Because this was Makoto and smiling was a necessity even at times like this. Like he’s got a truck load of it and he would never run out of smiles. No matter how many smiles he would throw to anyone, Haru would feel annoyed. It’s like the smiles were nothing but an armor or a shield to hide his real feelings. In the short time they had been together, Haru learned that smiling was Makoto’s defensive stance.

“You’re still thinking about it,” Haru stated. “Why?”

“I may be afraid of water but I don’t hate it,” Makoto said. “Well, I didn’t realize that I don’t hate it until last summer.”

Haru titled his head to his side before sitting beside Makoto. He fixed his gaze at the water before them.

“It was you Haru that made me realize that,” Haru whipped his head to his right to catch Makoto’s gentle eyes on him. They were full of mirth and affection.

“Remember the time when I saved you?” Haru did as if it only happened last night. “I was often at the shore watching the ocean from afar. One night, someone came. He looked distracted and hesitant to approach the water. But when he did, it was the most captivating sight I’ve ever seen. A sight I’ve never seen before.”

Haru felt his eyes were going to budge through their sockets that it began hurting. But he could not tear his gaze away from those emerald irises as he put two and two together. Of all people to see him that time in the ocean, he had to be Makoto.

“I felt something warm in my chest back then. And whenever fear creeps up on me, I’ll just remember that night and soon that warmth will take over,” Makoto followed Haru’s gaze in the water.

It’s funny how Makoto wanted to be close to the water because of Haru while he could not even bring himself to be near it. Except when he was with Makoto or when he was thinking about the other guy.

As reality dawned on him, he glanced at his side and found Makoto looking at the water as if he had made peace with it. Haru felt a surge of panic rise inside him. He thought that the two of them were the same. None of this was making sense. Everything just felt wrong.

It’s just…  _just._

He stood up unsteadily and headed to the locker room. He needed to get away from Makoto, from the water, from everything and everyone. He did not even bother to say goodbye to Makoto.

“W-what is it?” Makoto stood up, alarmed. “Did I say something to upset you?”

“No, I just…”  _just._ “See you this Saturday.”

The panic look Makoto had was the last thing Haru saw as the door closed.

 

* * *

After all the _get away from water_ thoughts that Haru had in mind earlier, he found himself… in the bath. He leaned on the tiles and let out a sigh. The water felt cool and fresh in his skin albeit it’s the _tamed_ water he used to refer to before. He let his body went limp and the remaining of his energy drained out of him. He took a small portion of water in his hand before letting it slid into his arms. The water was clear, if its clarity could only take away the thoughts and feelings that were clouding Haru.

He sank as deep as the area permitted him and closed his eyes. Even in the darkness, Makoto’s face resurfaced; his smile, his gentle feature, his presence that could brighten up anything. Then there’s water. Calm and clear water. Makoto and water.

 

* * *

Day in and day out, Haru dreaded the nearing of weekends. Saturday was the day where Rin told him to go to the upcoming Splash Fest Winter edition. Meeting his friend meant explaining himself for the nth time. It meant going through the same cycle of argument. Over and over on the same topic.

Haru rolled to his side and curled up. He tried sleeping but his mind wandered to Makoto. He might be at the stony steps playing with the cats while waiting for him. But it would be futile because there would be no Haru. His chest constricted at the thought of Makoto all by himself at the stony steps.

In his mind, Makoto looked back at Haru’s house every now and then to the point where the cats got agitated because they were not given enough attention. Haru pictured the other guy with his mouth curved downwards and eyes not glimmering for once.

Sleep finally claimed him just when he thought of Makoto trudging along the beach and towards the swimming club alone.

 

* * *

Stillness was the first word that Haru could think of when he came to the poolside. Most of the spectators have gone home by now.

“Yo Haru.”

Haru threw a side-long glare. “Rin.”

“Why didn’t you come earlier?”

“I didn’t see a reason why I have to be here,” which was a big fat lie because he was here when his friends took part at each event, no matter how much he convinced himself that it was not needed for him to be there.

“You--,” Rin grabbed Haru’s collar and continued, “you have already abandoned swimming. Now you’re abandoning your friends!”

Haru tried shoving his friend but Rin would not budge. He pulled Haru closer instead.

“What are you even doing with your life?” Rin’s voice cracked a bit and tears started pooling at the corner of his eyes. His knuckles gripping Haru’s shirt turned almost white and was visibly shaking.

“You have so much potential,” despite Rin’s effort to hold back his tears, they stubbornly fell from his eyes, “yet you’re wasting it. You used to love water. You were obsessed by it so why!?”

“I don’t freaking understand what the hell are you thinking!” It came out like a sob. Rin’s voice boomed in the entire pool until now that Haru heard ringing in his ear. Thousands of needles pricked Haru’s chest. It was not only his heart breaking due to a multitude of things but Rin as well. He was breaking because of Haru. For Haru.

“Rin –“ Haru reached up but Rin shoved him aside. Instead of replying, Rin took a one last look at his friend before leaving.

Haru stood at the poolside and waited. He did not know what he was waiting but he waited still. Maybe waiting for Rin to come back. Maybe for someone to pick up his pieces. Maybe for his love for water to be renewed. He stared at the pool for a couple of minutes before diving in.

He swam laps after laps until he could not swim anymore, like he wanted water to suck all of his energy, all of his frustrations, all of him. He thought he did not care, he did not care for swimming, did not care that he was letting down his friends. But reality slapped him so hard it’s impossible to not notice. That he’s caring so much it hurts him. He was hurting his friends.

He thought their faces and wondered why they were swimming. _Why am I swimming?_

Haru floated in the water for what felt like an eternity before taking another lap. When he finally swam to his heart’s content, he decided to call it a day. Upon reaching the end of the pool, an outstretched hand was waiting for him to take.

“Good work Haru.”

The sun was setting outside and it illuminated Makoto’s face further brightening his feature. All of a sudden, warmth washed over Haru.

He took Makoto’s hand as the guy pulled him out of the water. “You dived in with your clothes on.” Makoto said, giving Haru an all-over look. “Do you have spare clothes?”

When Haru shook his head, Makoto sighed as if saying  _just as I thought._ “I have another spare clothes with me. They’re a little big though.”

“I don’t mind.” Haru walked ahead of Makoto towards the changing room and felt smiling despite himself.

 

* * *

They walked back silently. Haru wanted to ask Makoto why was he still at the swimming club but the other guy seemed to be thinking of other things. They were at the stony steps, in front of Makoto’s house entrance, when Makoto broke the silence.

“How about going for a run tonight?”

Haru could tell by the looks of his eyes that it meant  _there’s something important I have to tell you_ . So he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin finally made his appearance! \o/


	7. Burn

When Haru stepped outside of his house, he spotted Makoto stretching at the stony steps, waiting for him. The moment their eyes met, something warm spread throughout Haru’s whole being despite the weather being chilly. He huffed a breath and jogged down the steps, passing Makoto. The other guy followed suit.

They jogged through the entire stretch of the boardwalk and then back. Just as they got nearer to the stony steps, the two decided to take a break on a boulder. Haru broke the silence this time.

“What do you want to talk about?”

Makoto looked like he anticipated this as he put on a resolved face in an instant. “I’m joining the swimming club.”

As much as Haru hated to admit it, he was more fazed with Makoto’s decision more than Makoto himself. The other guy should be the one running away from the water. Instead, he ran towards it. Haru failed to understand the logic.

“You are afraid of water.” Haru stated as a matter-of-fact yet it was as if he was confirming something.

“That is true.”

“Then… “ _why?_ He held himself back from asking it because it should not be his business if Makoto wanted to swim. No, it’s _definitely_ none of his business. He shook his head and said, “Do what you want.”

“Because the other day you looked like…” Haru could not quite catch what Makoto said in his small voice. Before he could ask him about it, the other guy changed the topic.

“Let’s go home. We still have classes tomorrow.” Makoto smiled and jogged towards his house.

 

* * *

As always, the water was dark. It was thick and murky like wadding through them was fighting against a huge tide. Haru tried and gave his best to swim through it.

_I’ll just sink like all those times I’ve tried to reach the surface._

Without further resistance, he let himself sink and be swallowed by the deepest part of water. Resistance was futile anyway. He’d better give in.

_\--ru!_

_Haru!_

As if in reflex, he swam faster to reach the surface; to answer that call. He needed to resurface no matter what.

The sunlight almost blinded him above water. It was so bright he could not see what—or _who,_ was at the top of the starting block, apparently waiting for him if the outstretched hand was a sign. Whoever that person was, they said something that Haru barely heard.

Haru stared at the ceiling of his room. He had been seeing that dream for a week now. Since the day Makoto decided to join the swimming club. He had been seeing that dream for years but never did the water turned clear as the end of the dream. _And I never made it to the surface before._

He dragged himself off the bed and went to the kitchen. Most mornings, Haru would take a shower first before anything else. But today, he did not want to be with water right after that dream.

He checked his cupboard and noticed that he’s running out of his mackerel supply. He took note of going to the grocery later. After an hour, Haru was in his doorway on the way out. As he climbed down the stony steps, a woman came dashing out from his left nearly bumping in to him.

“I’m sorry,” the lady said, bowing slightly before she turned to Haru with eyes full of concern. Haru watched as recognition dawned on her features. “Nanase-kun?”

He must have been staying in the Tachibana household a lot for Makoto’s mother to know him by now.

“I’m sorry again for bumping you. Are you hurt?” she asked.

“I’m fine. Aren’t you in a hurry, Tachibana-san?”

“Ah, that’s right. You see, Makoto forgot his lunchbox before he went to the swimming practice this morning. I’m worried about that child but I’m more worried about the twins. They have fever since last night.”

The next words that he said were dying to spill from his lips. They’re like egging his tongue to just pronounce them and get over with it. “… I’ll take the lunchbox to Makoto.”

“Is that alright? I mean, that will be very helpful but I don’t want to inconvenience you Nanase-kun. You seem to be going somewhere.”

“It’s alright. I’m just on my way to grocery. I’ll drop by the swimming club before that.”

“Thank you! Then I’ll leave this in your care,” she handed him the lunchbox and went back inside the house again.

As Haru walked towards Iwatobi SC, he thought of why he would volunteer like that. _I’m only helping Tachibana-san,_ he convinced himself. Of course, he had been worried about the twins. Ren and Ran had grown fond of him and he too.

_It’s not like I’m checking out how’s Makoto doing._ And a couple more excuses ran through his head as he stepped inside the club.

He headed first to the girl at the counter and asked if the Iwatobi swim club was practicing. When she confirmed, Haru decided to wait at the lounge where he could watch his friends swim.

Haru spotted Nagisa right away with his blonde hair bobbing in and out of water. As always, he swam without any reservations like he threw himself in the water just like that. On the other hand, Rei swam on the nearby lane. His form was beautiful than ever. He was a lot faster too than when Haru last saw them swim. But he had not seen yet what he came for. Haru scanned the entire pool for a familiar brown hair but failed to see until his eyes travelled to the far corner of the pool.

Coach Sasabe watched over Makoto as he hold his breath and dipped his head into the water… before breaking into the surface gasping for air. Makoto tried a couple more times before Haru saw Coach Sasabe signalled the other two for a break. Haru looked back at Makoto and watched a hint of frustration flashed in his face. He could not help but feel bad even if he’s just watching on the sideline.

He waited until Makoto left the pool before leaving the lounge and meet him in the locker. But the other guy lingered a bit more at the pool even after Rei and Nagisa left. So Haru decided to wait in the locker room instead.

“Haru?” Makoto said as soon as he entered the room and noticed his friend.

“I brought you this,” Haru gestured to the lunch box beside him.

Makoto gasped when he realized and smiled sheepishly. “Thank you.”

Makoto sat beside Haru and a strong smell of chlorine invaded his lungs, a wave of nostalgia washed over him.

“How long have you—,” he took a deep breath before continuing. “How long have you been here?” Makoto’s tone brought Haru back to reality. He sounded vulnerable. Haru’s eyes searched for those green orbs and its ever present warmth. What he found instead were empty eyes, lacking everything it used to have. It used to be exuding brightness and optimism. Now it was dark, gloomy, and helpless. Haru’s heart sank at the sight.

Haru wanted to cross that space between them and held those trembling hands like what he did before. If he could, he would usher him back to safety in land. But he couldn’t because there’s water between them now. He let his eyes roam around the room to look at anything but Makoto.

“Why are you even doing _this_?” He tried not to sound upset.

“Because,” Makoto stared back at Haru and shook his head. “This is something I should do.”

Everything in Makoto’s face screamed wrong but his eyes had never looked so clear, so intense the moment he said those words. Makoto could switch from soft stare to intense gaze in a heartbeat. They both knew that even if the water would bare its fangs on Makoto, he would not dare give up without a fight.

And Haru would not let him face it alone.

He sighed and stood up. He found his resolved too.

He looked down at Makoto and said, “Let’s eat lunch. We’ll have lots of training to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning slow everything. ^^;; I hope you still like it though! This chapter is inspired by SCANDAL's Burn. :)


	8. One Step, Two Steps

Haru floated in the water and let the small waves splash over him. He glanced on the adjacent lane just as Makoto turned back to the starting block. The other guy swam seamlessly, not a single trace of fear evident on his face. The days when he agonized about swimming felt like long ago.

“It’s impossible,” Makoto would say after gasping for air for the 5th time since they started.

“But you swam before.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Haru paused for a while before continuing.

“When do you often feel scared?”

Makoto tilted his head, obviously pondering over the question. “Whenever I submerged my face in the water.”

Another paused from Haru. “Then don’t.”

Makoto seemed to understand what Haru said so that was what he’s been doing.

Haru watched Makoto some more, feeling the corners of his mouth curving upwards, if only a bit, before going back to swimming. His body, fully accepting the presence of water, floated in it and the splashes that Makoto made on his side as the guy waded fell in the background.

He closed his eyes, feeling, hearing, and sensing everything around him and accepting them as what they are. At that moment, what only mattered to Haru was water and Makoto.

 

* * *

“You’re wearing thin clothes Haru!” 

“It’s fine.”

“You’re going to catch a cold!”

“I won’t,” Just as he said it, a pesky sneeze came out of nowhere. Talk about right timing.

“Geez,” Makoto stopped walking and unfurled his muffler, wrapping it around Haru, “this will work. In this weather, you’ll catch a cold by the time we get to the shrine.”

Haru hid his pout on the muffler. As his nose hit the cloth, a subtle scent of fresh morning dew welcomed him. Very Makoto-like. He smiled despite himself as he turned away from Makoto and walked ahead.

It was a chilly day yet Haru felt warm. It was winter but the air around him was as light as the spring breeze. Haru glanced on his side and found his summer in the midst of winter.

The moment the idea crossed his mind, Haru berated himself. What has gotten into him? It’s only a muffler. A borrowed muffler. That’s all there was to it. He walked faster as fast as the warmth he felt earlier spread like wildfire in his body.

Haru slowed down his pace to allow himself to catch a breath. It’s too early to get worked up. Starting the year in this kind of thought was as good as psyching yourself for bad luck for the rest of the year.

“Haru!” Makoto had caught up with him, his breath a little jagged from walking fast trying to match his strides, “You walk too fast. Are we that late?”

No Nagisa or Rei in the train station yet so they were still safe in time. Haru did not say it aloud though.

“Look, the muffler’s slipping already,” the other guy moved closer to him and fix the cloth on his neck. The smell of morning dew hit him hard this time causing his stomach to tie in a tight knot.

Haru tried to look at anything but Makoto. With the other guy few inches away from him, it’s impossible to do it when he blocked everything in Haru’s sight so Haru settled his eyes on the chest. He held his breath and his muscles tensed, his entire body seemed to be extra alert to anything Makoto. Really, first day of the year and he was _this_ worked up already.

“Hey guys~ don’t be so lovey-dovey so early in the morning.”

Nagisa’s voice  and Rei clearing his throat jolted both of them from their own world and stepped back from one another. Makoto practically jumped and moved his hands away from Haru.

“We’re not being _lovey-dovey_ ,” Haru scoffed as he glared at his blonde friend as he said the word _lovey-dovey_.

“You sure are,” Nagisa leered at them, obviously enjoying the scene.

“L-l-look that’s our train. Let’s go or else the shrine will be full when we get there,” Makoto hurried to the platform. He looked like he might just die right then and there.

 

* * *

 

 

“Here’s your chocolate Nagisa-kun,” Gou said as she handed a pack of chocolate wrapped in a cute package to Nagisa to which he replied with a cheerful _yay_. 

Rei and Haru both received their chocolates as well. With a meek thank you, Haru accepted the present.

“And here’s for our newest member, Makoto-senpai,” Gou handed the same package to Makoto.

As Haru tucked his present away, he glanced at Makoto who was obviously delighted to receive more chocolates. As if the guy needed _more_. His gaze turned from Makoto to his bag peeking in his locker and mountain of other chocolates that threatened to topple anytime. Makoto’s legion of fangirls took time to give him chocolates one by one. Haru watched as the other guy’s helpless look grew everytime. And everytime Haru had to look away because a tinge of irritation overcomes him, it made him want to flee from the scene right away.

He bet Makoto gets _tons_ every year. Even if it’s the case Haru have no right to feel anything about it. Makoto could receive a couple more chocolates and he should not be bothered by it. He really shouldn’t. But he was, enough to muddle his thoughts.

He closed his locker and walked outside the locker room towards the pool. Coach Sasabe allowed them to stay a little later today.

“Eh? Haru-chan? You’re going swimming?”

“But aren’t we going home?” Rei asked.

“You can go ahead of me.”

At a time like this, water helped him clear his thoughts even for the time being. It’s like he’s being one with water. If only water could take away whatever’s happening in his chest.

A few more laps and Haru was ready to go home. By the silence in the club, he’s sure his friends have gone home before him. He swam back to the starting block and found a hand outstretched before him.

It took him a full minute to tear his gaze away from those green eyes. “I thought you went home.”

“I thought I’d wait for you,” Makoto held his hands once more. “Let’s go home Haru.”

Not to appear rude, Haru took Makoto’s hand. It was bigger than his but a lot warmer. Despite the strength Makoto used to pull Haru out of the water, he was also gentle, as if he’s holding something precious, something delicate.

They walked back to their houses in silence. Makoto engaged him in small talks every now and then but Haru’s mind would wander back to their connecting hands before. Those hands that pulled him out of the water were the very same hands that took him back to something he thought he already turned his back away and maybe, _just maybe_ , those hands would introduce him to something new.

He clutched his hand to the straps of his bag. They were almost at the steps where they’ll have to part ways.

“See you tomo—“

“Makoto,” Haru cut him mid-sentence. If he didn’t do this now, he’d lost his chance and his courage he managed to muster. He opened his bag and grabbed a simple pack of chocolates, handing them to the other guy.

Makoto stared at him, blinking a few times. It’s taking his friend long time to take his present and he’s starting to feel stupid and awkward for all of this.

Haru retracted his hands. “If you don’t want it, that’s okay.” _You already have tons of this. And a chocolate coming from a guy?_

“No, no!” Makoto grabbed his wrist. “No… you don’t understand. I’m too happy. It’s just… did you make this?”

Haru wanted to lie, to say that he bought it on the grocery if that would mask the embarrassment that he felt. But the look on his friend, the look that he was about to cry from happiness, Haru didn’t have the heart to do it. So he nodded.

Makoto enclosed his hands around Haru’s and closed his eyes as if praying. “Thank you Haru.” He whispered. Then he opened his eyes and smiled as Haru’s heart took its final thump and he disintegrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Is it a little cheesy? Haha.


	9. Reconnect

 “How about we join the relay competition?”

Just like that, Haru voiced his thoughts out loud in the most casual way possible. But seeing the look his friends had, it did not seem so casual as he had hoped for.

In his head, he rehearsed for this line a hundred times, thought of about a dozen possible scenarios but the main problem persisted: when will he going to say it?

The idea came to him a few days ago during their swimming club practice. Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa went back to the locker ahead of him. Haru soon followed but stopped short when he heard his teammates mentioning his name.

“It would be nice if Haru-chan would join us,” Haru recognized Nagisa’s voice.

“Drop it already Nagisa-kun.”

“Eeh. But don’t you think so Rei-chan? I want us to swim like before. I’ve always admired Haru-chan’s free so I want to swim with him again. Is that so bad? I know you feel that way too.”

When Rei did not answer, Nagisa turned to Makoto, “How about you Mako-chan?”

Haru strained his ears to listen to the conversation. He could not just walked in but he could not go away either, not when it’s _him_ they were talking about. So he stayed and waited. An eternity seemed to pass as the clock ticked away but there was no reply. He took a breath and was ready to barge in and feign innocence when he heard Makoto speak.

“I’d like that, of course, but,” Haru could picture Makoto smiling; the kind of smile he had when he told Haru about his fear as if his usual mega-watt brightness was about to be extinguished. “…but I don’t think Haru likes that and that’s what matters.”

Lately, all Haru’s heart did was to thump hard on his chest that he’d wondered how his ribs were able to hold together with all the hammering. All because of one person and that person was on the other side of the door. Haru took a step, but not towards the door. He retraced his steps back to the pool and sank. He swam until he temporarily forgotten his garbled thoughts and unknown emotions budding inside him.

When he came back in the locker room, it was empty. He expected it as in between his laps he thought he have heard Makoto said that he were going to wait for him in the lobby. Haru changed and headed to their meeting place and found Makoto sitting on the floor, head leaning on the side of the counter.

For a moment there, Haru was at a loss of what to do so he just stared at his friend. He noted the exhaustion that was all over Makoto’s feature. The guy had been working so hard. Of course, even after the training regimen Coach Sasabe and Gou made, it was not enough for Makoto to win his races. Not yet.

Staring at Makoto like this, Haru thought of the time he decided to help the guy swim again, how he spent his days with his friends, and how swimming became not only bearable but also enjoyable. It’s all because of this guy in front of him, and Nagisa and Rei too. They have all been Haru’s constant support. In an instant, Haru knew what he needed to do.

Still, finding the right timing was hard. He tried saying it during lunch, on the way to the swimming club, during and after practice, and even when they were all walking home. Haru was running out of time. There’s only one day left before the Iwatobi SC version of Junior Olympic Cup and they got a lot of things to do.

The day before the competition as the four of them were going home, Haru had to announce it quick.

“How about we join the relay competition?” There he said it.

“W-what was it again Haruka-senpai?” Rei asked as he exchanged confuse looks with Nagisa.

Haru heard Makoto gasped beside him. The other guy was giving him half of his ice cream but his hand stopped mid-way when Haru spoke.

“I said, how about we join the relay competition?”

Everyone but Haru exchanged looks. The next thing he knew those three had flung themselves at him with Nagisa exclaiming, “Haru-chaaaaaaan!”

When they let go of Haru, Rei and Nagisa were busy tattling about their plans and strategies. Rei said that they should hurry up and practice their timings at the pool and all of them agreed.

“We’ll tell Rin-chan to join too so we’ll have a match!” Nagisa-said as he fumbled to his cellphone and dialled Rin’s number.

Haru glanced on his side and found Makoto staring at him as if saying, _Are you really sure about this?_ And Haru shot him a glare, hoping his message, _of course,_ would come across.

Makoto laughed and graced him a soft smile. “I’m really happy Haru.”

Haru almost smiled at that. _This is so bad_. Whatever’s happening in his chest, he was not sure. It was bad in a good kind of way, if that makes sense. Haru felt like succumbing into this new kind of feeling every second with Makoto.

 

* * *

 

 

As they marched towards the starting block, Haru thought he was going to throw up. But he could not go back now. He decided on this anyway.

“Haru,” Makoto called out to him, “let’s do our best.”

With those few words, all doubts, fears, and anxiety disappeared. Because in this race, three other person were racing with Haru. He was not ready for this, none of them prepared enough. But Haru was ready to gamble, take that unsteady first step. He would believe in his friends. He would surrender himself in water. Whatever the outcome, at least they did their best. Together.

Makoto and the guy with the orange hair sank in the water and held the bar, waiting for the signal. When Coach Sasabe fired the signal, the two swimmers started right away. A smile tugged at the corner of Haru’s lips as he watched Makoto giving his best with each lap. Makoto was still sloppy at times but Haru could tell that he’s comfortable swimming now.

He could watch Makoto swim all day but he knew that right now he got a competition to win. They all readied themselves when the first players were about to reach the starting block. Just before the third swimmers reached the block, Haru heard Rin snickered beside him.

“Glad to see you back in the water, Haru. But don’t go thinking that I’ll go easy on you,” Rin smirked, his shark teeth showing.

“There’s no need to,” Haru replied to which Rin smirked even more before diving. Haru followed a few seconds after but Rin had already gained an advantage. Haru did not let that bother him and continued wading across the water. It might have been a long time since he competed like this but his body sure remembered.

And so their gamble paid off.

As Haru broke through the surface and gasped for air, Coach Sasabe whistled marking the end of their race. He looked up, the light almost blinded him if not blocked by a large body and an outstretched hand couple that to a bright smile that rivalled the sun.

“Haru!” Makoto exclaimed.

Haru took the hand until he steadied himself on land but not before Makoto pulled him in a hug. It was so sudden that Haru froze on the spot. His mind went blank. The rest of the world disappeared at the back of his mind.

Nagisa and Rei followed suit and they somewhat formed a group hug. A small guilt stung Haru because for a second there, he forgot everything around him and Makoto.

That did not change the fact that at that moment, they all felt invincible.

 

* * *

 

Haru went to the locker room ahead of his teammates. He passed by a couple rows of locker and felt that someone was watching him. This presence posed no danger and was a little too familiar to Haru.

“Rin,” Haru said, “are you planning to ambush me?”

Rin grinned. Haru relaxed upon seeing that. Their last meeting did not end so well so he was worried in how he would behave the next time they meet. Rin seemed to have forgotten that. Or at least put it behind them.

“So you’re finally swimming again huh? Good for you,” Rin stepped closer to Haru and lightly punched his shoulder. “I’m looking forward to race with you again.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

Rin’s laughter echoed in the entire locker room.

“Haru?”

Both of them looked at the direction of the voice and found Makoto standing at the entrance. His eyes darted back and forth between Rin and Haru.

“Err- I was looking for you. We are about to go home soon.”

“Okay,” Haru replied. “By the way Rin, this is Makoto. Makoto, this is Rin.”

“Oh the guy Gou mentioned whom we raced with in the past. Nice to meet you. Anyway, I have to get going. Don’t forget our race Haru.”

With a wave, Rin left. The remaining two stood in silence. Haru wondered if they should get going too but Makoto showed no sign of leaving yet. He continued to stare at the door where Rin passed by.

After a full minute of silence, he turned to Haru with a smile that did not reach his eyes. “Let’s go home too.”


	10. Tomorrow's Way

As the sunlight crept through the gap of the bathroom window, Haru absent-mindedly cupped his hands with water and let the ray of light shone on it. This water was tamed. It was not as fierce as the water in the pool from their last tournament.  For Haru, this water was not enough.

He sank in the water, letting his mind replay their recent competition. All the buzz and adrenaline rush that day kept on coming back to him. A small smile played on his lips. The feeling of owning the water, of being one with it, those were what he missed. Sort of.

But at the back of his mind, the red lights and alarms blared to life. He knew what would come next. In fact, he knew these signs a little too well.

Haru heard the sound of footsteps coming to the bathroom and it could only mean one thing. He sighed. His time was up.

“Haru, I’m going in,” Makoto said. “Just as I thought, you’re here.”

Haru stared, not amused.

“Don’t look at me like that, we’re going to be late you know,” Makoto smiled and Haru sighed in resignation.

Makoto was getting more and more accustomed to Haru’s morning routine. It had not been that long since Haru picked up again the habit of staying long in the tub every morning. The first time Haru missed their usual meeting time at the stony steps, Makoto came rushing inside the house, searching frantically for him. The guy almost slumped on the floor tiles when he saw Haru calmly enjoying his morning bath.

_“You had me worried there,”_ Makoto said.

Haru’s chest squeezed at the sight that he almost reached out to Makoto. Almost.

Now that he’s gotten used to it, Makoto just held out his hand. “Good morning, Haru.”

Haru reached out and mumbled his greetings. He already missed the water when he stood up.

“You’re still wearing your jammers!?”

Haru paid no mind to Makoto’s remark, straightening his features when a small smile threatened to appear. _Makoto’s smiles were contagious_ , he thought.

 

* * *

 

 

“Please pass these forms and fill them up,” Amakata-sensei told the class.

Once Haru received his, he gave it a once over and felt like a lead was dropped in his stomach. Written in the paper were questions like what would you want to do after high school and other questions which were like asking what were his orders in a fast food store. He glanced on his side and caught Makoto staring at him, not smiling for a change. He smiled a bit at Haru but the solemn look remained unwavering. Haru looked away and fixed his gaze at the bird flying outside their classroom window and he knew that he wanted to be like that bird.

Haru’s class spent their homeroom waiting for their names to be called and interviewed by Amakata-sensei. Makoto was called first and told Haru that he would wait for him in the corridor. When it was his turn, Haru walked to the staff room and sat at a chair in front of his teacher. He let his thumb rolled against the other one while waiting.

Amakata-sensei stared at his form, long and hard, before finally speaking up. “What does this mean?”

“Nothing. It means what it says.”

“It means what it means?” Amakata-sensei widened her eyes as she turned her gaze to Haru before putting the paper down. “Nanase-kun, you want to continue swimming, don’t you?”

Haru chose to not answer her question. Why do adults think they knew before than himself?

“Someone with your athletic abilities could probably enter the sports world. Why don’t you think a little more about this?” Amakata-sensei continued, pushing the paper towards Haru. When Haru remained silent, she flailed her hands trying to come up with a saying to somehow lighten up the mood. “There’s a famous saying that goes: _Give it a try. You won’t know until you do.”_

Haru only sighed at that. He got up and excused himself as he walked out of the room. Makoto’s eyes searched his face but Haru could not bring himself to look at him. The other guy pinched his lips and Haru waited for the next words to come out.

“Let’s go home?”

Haru raised his head to look at his friend and he was only met with a soft smile. He almost laughed out of relief. Of course, this was Makoto were talking about. This was something he loved about this guy. Lo—Haru made a choking sound which he passed as cough. His face was heating up.

“Haru?” When Haru shook his head, Makoto smiled his most gentle smile. Haru gasped for air.

They walked together in silence and Haru could feel himself calming down. By the time they reached the seaside, he was alright again. Makoto asked him if he wanted to stop for a while he bought them juice. The two of them watched the waves rolled in and out of the shore as they sipped their drinks.

Makoto let out a defeated sigh. “Ama-chan-sensei said I should think things through. Easier said than done.”

Haru nodded and willed himself to offer some answer when Makoto let an opening for him. “She said the same thing to me.”

“So, uh, what did you choose? I mean if you don’t mind!” Makoto hastily added the last sentence.

“I said I wanted to be free.”

Makoto chuckled. “That’s very Haru-like.”

They talked a little more but Haru was barely paying attention. He was sitting beside Makoto but the same time he’s nowhere. He was being taken away to a direction he did not want. But what direction did he really want?

At some point of their conversation, Makoto slipped his hand into Haru’s, gently tugging him. He continued his one-sided conversation with Haru only humming in response. When Haru finally looked at Makoto’s face, those green eyes were soft and warm in contrast to the strong grip in his hand as if saying _I’m here_. Haru took comfort to that, forgetting his troubles for the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only realized that I haven't mentioned about my playlist before or even the songs that inspired me with every chapter. I guess, I'll put the list in the last chapter. For this one, it's Tomorrow's Way by YUI. That's also where I got the title of this chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading! :)


	11. Summer Rain

The crowd’s cheering, his friends’ smiling faces, the overwhelming celebratory feel in the area, everyone and everything did not make sense to Haru. Everyone was joyous, all smiles and all cheers, Haru was supposed to feel that way too right? But he was not. While these people seemed to live in an entirely different planet full of flowers and rainbows, Haru was stuck in his own dark world. The world that no matter how many times he tried to run away, he just could not leave.

Haru, along with other swimmers including Rin, marched towards the starting block for their event. The cheering got louder as the swimmers lined up one by one. The cheers hurt his ears. The arena suffocated him. His eyes roamed around the area, scanning the crowd but not really looking at them until his sight caught a familiar blonde.

“Oh it’s Nagisa and everyone,” he mumbled under his breath.

 _“Another scout called Haru-chan!”_ Haru remembered Nagisa saying something like that a few days ago.

 _“Of course, they’d notice Haruka-senpai’s beautiful form,”_ Rei replied.

His friends looked so happy, so proud of him so why can’t he share the same feelings as them?

The tournament official signalled the start of their race and everybody positioned themselves with Haru dragging himself to move. When the mark was fired and the swimmers dived, Haru knew that being in the water was everything to him. He wanted to cling, to revel in every moment he spent in it. Yet, at the back of his mind, something sinister was egging him.

Egging him to destroy that moment.

In Haru’s own world, no matter where he turned to, it’s just darkness everywhere. No matter where he goes, he could not find the way. He doubted he would ever will.

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck did you just do out there!?” Rin yelled at Haru as the redhead followed him to the locker room. “You’ve pulled that damn thing before but I thought you’ve changed and now you did it again!”

Haru did not have the slightest energy to deal with him now. Once Haru was in the middle of the pool, he just stopped swimming. He could not see the point of continuing so why bother. Rin had been on him ever since their race ended.

“You screwed up big time. For the second time even!” Haru knew from Rin’s flushed face that his friend’s emotion had taken over his head. He searched his bag, not really knowing what he was looking for. He wished Rin would stop bugging him already. He wished that everyone would just leave him alone.

“Don’t you have a dream!? Are you even _seriously_ thinking about your future!?”

Haru slammed his locker door shut. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand! What is a dream? What is a future? Can you find a dream just because you’re looking!?”

Rin had always been big on dreams. He had a clear vision of what he wanted to do. His path was already decided since they were kids. There was no way someone like him could understand Haru. Someone who had never felt lost before.

“The things you are saying, they are your dreams, not mine! Stop pushing them to me!”

Haru walked away before Rin could even say anything but stopped short when he saw his teammates in the doorway. The looks on their faces unsettled Haru. Was it worry? Pity? The latter made him cringe. Pity was the thing he needed the least right now.

“Don’t worry, I’ll swim the relay with you,” Haru remained cool but at the very core, he was breaking apart.

 

* * *

 

Their training went on as usual. If not harder than ever since they qualified for the nationals. Gou was hell bent on maintaining their forms by making them eat “nutritious” foods, and constantly checking and analyzing of their muscles. She mentioned meeting someone who told her pointers on visual analysis of muscles. 

She had just finished giving an overall look at Haru. Once she nodded in approval, Haru took it as a sign that he passed her standards which meant he was exempted for the “super nutritious” food for the day. He dived in the water and stayed underwater for quite a while before Gou could even open her mouth.

That’s the thing lately. His friends looked like they wanted to say something but changed their mind at the last minute. Much to his relief, no one mentioned what happened in the tournament but that did not mean that it was a safe subject to broach. It remained a landmine no one dared to step on. But Haru could tell that like a bomb, it would explode anytime. Haru froze every single time they talked to him and they knew that Haru was bracing himself.

“What!? You’re leaving now Mako-chan?” Haru almost jumped when Nagisa spoke loudly at the far end of the locker. He was busy preparing himself to shot down any questions or prodding that would come his way that he failed to notice that Makoto, already had his bag slung on his shoulder while the rest of them are still in the middle of changing.

“Sorry. I just started working part-time at the swim club and I don’t want to be late,” Makoto put on a sheepish smile.

“Why would you work part-time senpai? Isn’t you schedule already packed with our training?”

“That’s true. But this is only a temporary swimming lesson job. I’m only meant to help around the club until Coach Sasabe hired a new employee.”

“Haru-chan have you heard about it?”

Haru huffed a breath and continued changing. “No. Makoto could do whatever he wanted to do.”

Despite his indifferent reply, the news came crashing down on Haru like a huge wave in a still water. He turned to look at the back of Makoto’s head. Makoto had not mentioned it or even showed signs that he was even a bit interested in that. Or did he? Was Haru being self-centered this whole time, wallowing in his own problems, that he never noticed if something was amiss with Makoto? In fact, he did not have the slightest idea of what Makoto wanted to do from now on. His thoughts, his aspirations, Haru got a zero knowledge on them. He was not Makoto. He could not read his friend just like what the other guy does for him. Somehow, the gap which felt shorter since they met was getting wider instead. Haru’s chest ache at the thought.

“That’s great Mako-chan! I can totally imagine you being a teacher!”

Makoto chuckled. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I fit to teach them since I only came back to swimming. I actually have no right to teach kids when I’ve just barely started swimming again. But Coach saw me helping a kid swim who used to hate the water too.”

Pride replaced the pain he felt earlier. Haru was so proud of Makoto that he could not stop himself from smiling. Makoto managed to conquer his fear of water. Anything would be a smaller feat compared to that. “Of course, it’s you. You can do it.”

Makoto turned to him a bit sudden that it caught him off guard and idly wondered if he said something embarrassing. Before he could berate himself, Makoto’s eyes turned soft and smile, the kind of smile that could warm even the coldest winter and that is exactly Haru’s life at the moment. For a second there, he believed that even when the world turned against him, he’ll always have Makoto.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Haru-chan,” Nagisa said.

Those few words told Haru that he was not worrying enough. He deluded himself into thinking that his friends would not bring up all these talks about his future in a festival. He agreed to go to the fireworks festival because the last time they all went together in something like this, they were all happy. But in the end, it was all just his wishful thinking.

Nagisa continued. “Before we swim at nationals, there’s something we want to say. Because I get the feeling we can’t swim as a real team unless we do.”

“Haruka-senpai,” Rei said, “both Nagisa-kun and I have admired your swimming for a long time, watching the way you swim so free and unbound by anything, I found myself wishing I could swim that way, as well. But now that you’re no longer able to swim freestyle, your swimming, just isn’t like you anymore. We want you to swim in front of the whole world, so that more and more people can see your swimming. And then, if more and more people were able to see your swimming and be moved like us, and wish they could swim like you, too… I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful.”

“I don’t understand you,” Haru shot them down. He had closed half of his door to the world. All those bright lights, the festive mood, and the beautiful things his friends were telling him about his swimming, none of that belonged to Haru’s world.

He turned to his heel and left. It would be better if the path he was taking would bring him back to the time when it was just him and water. If he followed his shattered memories of the past, could he go back to that time?

He reached the top of the hill, overlooking the entire town of Iwatobi. He loved this town, not just because this is his hometown, but also due to her location near the ocean. The smell and feel of water around him, nothing could be even more perfect than that. Now, the air suffocated him. Iwatobi have changed.

“I thought you’d be here.”

Haru took comfort at that voice. Of course, Makoto found him. He always did. Haru breathe easier when Makoto walked up to his side and watched the town below them. Despite everyone making a fuss about his future, Makoto did not. Haru was confident that the guy would reach out just like what he always did.

Makoto took a sharp intake of breath. “Haru, I don’t think you could go on like this too. Until now, I thought that if this was what you wanted, it was fine. Because whatever your friend said back in the locker room, I wanted to respect your wishes. But what you said to him at the regionals, if you truly want to stay as you are, I won’t say anything. But if it’s just that you can’t find a dream for yourself, I would want you to find one.”

If it was possible for one’s world to turn bleaker than it already was, then that’s what happened to Haru.

“You want me to find one? Is that really something you can find just by looking for it?

“Well…” Makoto hesitated.

“Forget it. I’m done talking about this,” all that Haru could hear was the sound of something breaking. If it was his life, his faith in whoever this guy in front of him was, or his heart, he could not care less. He thought that sinking only happens when you were in the water; he never knew that it was possible to sink outside it.

Makoto caught his wrist and held him firm. “Wait.”

“Let go!”

“Listen to what I have to say!”

“However many times I listen, it’s the same! You can’t find a dream just by looking for one! I’m fine with the way things are!” It baffled Haru how people think they knew better about his future than him.

Makoto yelled, a first if Haru recalled right. “You’re lying! The truth is, you want to find a dream, too! You should find that dream and go flying into the outside world to follow it! You have the ability to do that!”

But then again, who was this person in front of him even? This was not the Makoto he knew. Makoto would let him do things in his own pace. This Makoto in front of him was spouting things just like everyone else. “Even you’re talking like this? Where I swim and who I swim for I’m free to decide that for myself! And I’m saying I’m fine with the way things are!”

“But you’re not fine! You’re not fine!” Makoto emphasized every word he said. “That’s why we’re all telling you this! Nagisa, Rei, and Matsuoka-kun… me too, it’s because we all love you. Because we care about you. Why can’t you understand that!? We want you to find your dream… to look to the future…”

The only truth that Makoto said was that - he was not fine. How could he be when he was breaking into even more tiny pieces. He prayed to any god listening to him to make everything stop before he completely fell apart.

“All you ever do is meddle with everyone! Stop sticking your nose in everyone else’s business! A dream? A future? Well, what about yours? Stop going on about other people’s futures when you haven’t even decided your own!” Haru shouted but Makoto stood silent at that. It went on for a full minute and Haru was getting impatient. He did not like this silence. It’s different from the comfortable silence he shared with his friend. It’s as if there’s an even bigger bomb waiting for him. “Well, say something.”

Makoto looked at everything but Haru. “I’ve already decided. I’m going to a university in Tokyo. I meant to tell you sooner, but I just couldn’t find a way to say it.”

Colorful fireworks started shooting up in the sky but to Haru, the sound it made reminded him of a bomb exploding. The ground underneath him shook, threatening to collapse below his feet. The world shattered in front of him, bits and pieces falling apart. His final connection to the outside world had closed. And this time no hand will reach out to him and pull him, no matter how many times he crawled back up.

“Do whatever you want!”

He ran as fast as he could because that’s what he was doing in the past few days and that, as what his friends imply, he was good at – good at running away. But running away, turning his back from everything, was all that he could do at the moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogues and scenes here are taken from the anime. :) This is probably the longest chapter I've written so far.
> 
> And, uh, I hope you enjoyed? ;;;
> 
> Oh and can you guess the person Gou met? 8D


	12. Stardust

Makoto wanted, _needed,_ to drag his body out of the bed. He’s been awake for almost an hour, but getting up was a challenge. Today was the last day of his swimming lesson stint at the Iwatobi Swim Club. Coach Sasabe told him about hiring a new employee and Makoto thought that he was okay with that. After all, someone who knows his stuff was far more suited to teach the students, unlike him who only came back in swimming not more than a year ago. Yes, this was supposed to be okay. He should be alright.

He curled to his side and groaned. How many days and times had he been trying to convince himself that he was fine? He was also supposedly okay when he confronted Haru. He psyched himself about it, thought of all the things he wanted to say and the possible reactions of his friend. Because Haru had to take that first step, no matter what. He had had enough seeing his friend looking lost, just when he finally brought back even a small glint of hope in those blue orbs.

“That’s so presumptuous,” he mumbled, clenching his blanket tighter. Sometimes his optimism blinded him, if not every single time.

It was not him who brought Haru back to swimming. That’s what he planned, at least. Haru was his gateway to the world. He opened not only windows, but doors for Makoto. With that, he wanted to do the same for his friend. He wanted to guide the same hand that held and guided him when his world was bleak. The world he discovered after meeting Haru, he wanted to introduce that to his friend as well. He learned that, while the world was not always sunshines and rainbows, it was not always grim too. As Haru fumbles his way through the outside world, Makoto was willing to be his constant support, his forever ally even if he would play the role of the bad guy. It was all for Haru. He was worth everything.

In the end, it was Haru’s choice to do whatever he wanted, in swimming and in his future. Whatever that was, Makoto would always be watching his back. Because that’s what friends do.

A sharp pain shot through his chest as if it was being pounded to pieces.

“That’s right,” he smiled despite himself. Haru was not _just_ a friend. He was someone important to Makoto, an irreplaceable existence. He denied it for months until _him_ , that certain redhead, made him face his feelings.

 

* * *

“Aren’t you the transferee at Iwatobi High? You need something from me?” Rin wore a surprised look on his face when he met Makoto outside his dorm, something Makoto expected. They barely knew each other. He knew little to nothing about this guy except that he’s a childhood friend of his teammates and someone who cares about Haru’s future like him.

He stood straight from his previous leaning position and faced Rin. “I’d like to apologize first for calling you out all of a sudden but,” he looked down at his feet and inhaled, “I need your help, Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin raised his eyebrow. “Help? From me?”

Makoto nodded, staring directly into Rin’s eyes. The guy intimidated Makoto but he stood firm. He would not back down, not with Haru’s future on the line.

Rin seemed to consider him for a while before heaving a sigh. “Fine. Let’s change place. And enough with the -kun. Rin is fine.”

Makoto smiled. “Then you can call me Makoto too.”

Makoto followed Rin as they crossed the campus. A few students gawked at Makoto for his uniform stood out from the sea of white gakuran. They reached a quiet place  and sat on a bench. Rin wasted no time once they settled. “So, what about Haru?”

Makoto turned to Rin, blinking a few times as he cleared his throat. The other guy grinned at him. “Spot on huh.”

“Yeah, I wanted to talk about him,” Makoto breathe, trying to collect his thoughts. “He looks so lost these days, the same look he had when I met him last summer. I just want to help but I couldn’t. I don’t know how. I figured it would be best to have him sort things on his own but with the things as they are, I don’t think that’s possible. You knew him longer than I do, so I ask for your help.”

“Nagisa and Rei knew him all these years too, you know? Why did you come for me instead of them?”

“Because you are someone whom Haru values opinion. You are someone important to him, a friend he respects and trusts,” his chest hurt while he blurted the kind of friendship Haru and Rin shared, something he never thought he would be jealous about, but he prodded on. “I mean, he trusts our teammates too but… anyway you get the idea.”

“Thing is, Haru listens to no one. When he doesn’t want something, you can do nothing about it. He’s pretty stubborn if you’ve noticed,” Rin leaned on the bench and looked up. “He’s got so much potential and he’s wasting it, don’t you think?”

“I think so too. He has a natural talent for swimming,” memories of his first encounter with Haru filled his vision. It felt like ages but the truth is, it’s only been a year. “But no matter what Haru chooses, I’ll support it. Be it going pro or not.”

“…You’ve got it that bad huh.”

Taken aback, he looked to his side and found Rin studying him. When he realized this, Makoto could have sworn his face was as red as the other’s hair. He shifted his gaze and fumbled for a response but the words failed him.

Rin chuckled beside him. “You don’t have to deny it. You probably haven’t even realized it yourself. Just think about it, why would you go all the way here to talk to me, whom you never talk to and someone you consider your rival with Haru, if that emotionless guy is a mere friend to you.”

Makoto wanted to argue that Haru was not emotionless, he was actually full of emotions if you look at the right places and gestures. But he didn’t dare speak it out loud. It would only further confirm Rin’s assumptions.

Rin stood up. “I’ll do what I can do about that stubborn Haru. One thing though, you’ve got it wrong. My relationship with Haru. Don’t worry, I’m rooting for both of you,” Rin turned his back but not before he gave Makoto a toothy grin.

“One last thing before I leave. I know this is none of my business and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want too,” Rin paused, gauging his reaction. When Makoto nodded, Rin continued, “Have you decided what you are going to do after high school? Can’t have you going on and on about Haru’s future when you’ve got none yourself.”

“I... I’ll be going to a university in Tokyo.”

“Does Haru know?”

Makoto exhaled in resignation. “No. Not yet. Hopefully soon,” Deciding for his future was one thing, finding the right timing to tell Haru was another. The possibility of getting separated from Haru when they had gotten quite close this past year was enough to crush his heart.

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Rin looked at him with sympathy before mumbling a soft _I see_ and then leaving Makoto.

 

* * *

The loud ringing of his cellphone brought him back to the moment. He fumbled on his bed and when he got it, he stared at the screen showing a familiar name.

 

* * *

“What!?” was Rei and Nagisa’s collective outburst when they heard the news about Haru. Rin called Makoto telling him that he was calling from Australia. With Haru. Though judging from Rin’s hushed tone and quick responses, he had not told Haru that he’s informing Makoto of his whereabouts.

“Wha- why is he in Australia!?” Rei was at a lost on how things turned out.

“I never would have thought that Rin would bring him there.”

“Wait, when did Mako-chan and Rin-chan became close?” Nagisa looked curious about the sudden development between him and Rin more.

“I can’t say that we’re already close,” Makoto scratch his cheek with his index finger, “I only asked him to help Haru.”

“What if Haru-senpai becomes like Rin-san and wants to study at Australia too?” Rei asked.

“No matter what or where Haru chooses, he’ll have my support,” a _lways,_ Makoto thought _._

Nagisa and Rei looked at each other before exchanging smiles. “You’ve got it really bad Mako-chan.”

Makoto looked at the pair, surprised to hear the same thing that Rin said. Whatever look he was making, he did not feel like changing it. But even if Haru chooses something far from him, he’d be okay with it, as long as Haru does what he likes; as long as Haru go after a dream he wanted, Makoto would be fine with that. Afterall, Haru left him something he’ll value for the rest of his life: his love for swimming and for Haru.

He looked above and saw a bird soaring above. _I believe in you, Haru._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto POV yay! xD  
> Inspired by this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB3pjvb6mLg . :)


	13. Home

If somebody told Haru yesterday that he would be in Australia twenty-four hours later, he’d scoffed at the idea. After all, who goes to another country just like that? Rin showed up in his front door that morning, telling Haru to pack some stuff and follow him. Next thing Haru knew, they had boarded in a plane going Australia.

“Hey!”

“Hey! Where do you plan on taking me?” Haru asked for the fifth time knowing he would not get an answer.

“You’ll find out if you follow. That’s our bus,” Rin said. “We’re getting on.”

And for the fifth time, Rin dodged the question. Knowing that that was the end of their discussion, Haru contented himself to stare at the back of Rin’s head, determined not to get lost in the throngs of passengers going to and fro the airport.

As they rode the bus, the foreignness of everything and everyone struck him, and sunk within him one by one. People who looked and spoke a different language than the people in Iwatobi, the sights and scenes that could only be found in Australia, all these new things thrilled and terrified him. But not for long. When he had taken in everything and sank back on his seat, all he could see was the top of the hill once more and the sound of fireworks mixed with the words _I’m going to a university in Tokyo_ reverberated in his ears. The images of last night flooded his memory like a broken video on the loop. He would have missed their stop if Rin had not patted his shoulder and signalled him to follow.

They dropped off near a park and rested beside a fountain. Haru stared at his feet and sighed. He had lost count of the number of times he sighed in this trip. He waited until Rin dragged him again to their next location... but that did not happen. He looked up, expecting to see his friend nearby but all he saw was some other people going to their destinations. He stood up and scanned the area for any signs of Rin.

For the first time in this trip, it dawned on Haru that in this foreign country with lots of unknown places and faces, he was all alone. There was no one who would discover this big city alongside him or fumble with English words with him. He was, in every sense, on his own. The world shifted under his feet and his surroundings overwhelmed him. Fear started to root inside him.

“Haru, I bought us some drinks,” a voice called out to him. “Something wrong?”

Haru breathed out all the tension he felt not too long ago and glared at Rin. “Don’t just run off like that.”

“Sorry,” Rin muttered. He crossed the distance between them and sat beside Haru. “Sorry for what I said at the tournament too. I ignored how you felt and just forced my own feelings on you.”

Haru did not say anything so Rin picked that as a cue to keep going. “I’m sorry. But I do want you to understand this. I’ve always admired you.”

Haru gaped. Despite being the most emotional among his friends, Rin rarely say anything like this. Haru was becoming used to his friend nagging him to find his dream, to swim competitively that he forgot how much of a sentimental person Rin was.

“Now I feel better,” Rin stood up, dispelling all the melancholic atmosphere they had earlier. “Wanna keep going?”

“Where?” Haru stuttered, unbelieving to what he heard. After the strange sensation he had, he was not keen on further explorations. But obviously, Rin had other plans for this trip.

Rin smiled. “You don’t have to look so worried. I brought you to Australia because there’s something I absolutely have to show you. But that’s for tomorrow.”

Sighing, Haru resigned to the fact that following Rin was all he could do while they were in this country. So he followed until they arrived at an ocean. Rin grinned as he showed him the place.

“What do you think? I figured a place where you could see the ocean would help you relax,” Rin did not wait for him and started taking off his socks. “Let’s go in.”

But Haru could not match Rin’s enthusiasm. “...I don’t feel like it.”

Rin raised his eyebrows. “What? Who is it that’s usually so quick to start taking his clothes off?”

“Shut up.”

Despite the big body of water in front of him, he felt nothing. Water was just like that, _water_. Even if he tried to hide in this unfamiliar place, miles away from home, his mind drifted back to Iwatobi. It never gets easier with every recalling. Haru hugged his knees closer. He wanted to curl himself and let the waves washed his feelings away; the feelings he so wanted to deny. He would lock them deep inside him if he could. But little by little the contents were spilling. Until everything came crashing down and all that’s left was a big mess of emotions - emotions he never thought he was capable of having.

“I was sure you’d never agree on this trip. But you really came along,” Rin studied him. “Did something happen?”

“Not really. I just don’t want to be there right now.”

“Did you and Makoto have a fight or something?”

Haru flinched at his friend’s question.

“Bingo, huh?”

Haru sulked once more. He did not want to be this transparent. It was different when Makoto reads him. He was always subtle, always waiting for Haru to open up on his own - very different to Rin’s straightforward approach.

“That’s one little fight. Sousuke and I fight all the time.”

“That was my... first fight.” With Makoto, no less.

“That reminds me, Makoto finally decided on his post-graduation plans right? He said he wanted to tell you as soon as possible.”

Haru snapped his head to Rin’s direction. “When did you become close with Makoto?”

“Don’t be jealous,” Rin teased.

“I AM not.”

Rin continued to leer anyway. “We had a little heart-to-heart talk.”

All Haru wanted at the moment was to wipe that smug look on Rin’s face.

 

* * *

 

Rin told Haru of his time in Australia. After all these years, he finally understood where all the rage and frustration of the Rin before came from. The Rin in front of him now was much more mellow than before, like he found a stable ground. Haru knew that his friend deserved it after staying on a rocky surface for years. 

Before going to their hotel, the two dropped by Rin’s homestay parents’ house. Haru had zero idea on what they were talking about, saved on some parts that Rin translated for him. Russell and Lori were friendly and hospitable yet Haru could not help feeling alienated.

They headed back to their hotel, only to find out that they only have one bed. Rin confronted the front desk about this but since the place was fully booked and it’s too troublesome to change hotels, they settled in sleeping in the same bed.

Haru curled to his side and waited for sleep to come over him. Rin had been silent on the other side of the bed, probably already asleep.

“Hey, Haru.”

Apparently not.

“I said that I’ve always admired you, didn’t I? Well, you might not remember the first time we competed with each other. I thought that no one would be able to beat me. But you did. Whenever I looked at you, I couldn’t help but feel that there’s another guy better than me so I have to do my best too.”

Haru felt Rin shifted on the sheets.

“You are my goal. So it’s hard for me not seeing you ahead. Because what am I supposed to do then?”

Haru shifted too, to properly look at Rin. Sometimes he wondered what he did in his past life to deserve people like Makoto and Rin who support him. He could not thank his friends enough for being his constant ally even if Haru was neglecting his surroundings. He would make sure to express his gratitude when he gets back. Thought he could not say it to Rin yet.

“Sometimes I wonder why it didn’t work for us because I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of, how do you call it -- ah, spark, between us,” Rin changed position and looked at him pointedly, “unless I’m imagining things.”

Haru smiled. “I wonder about that too. Though I never would have thought that you’re fine with _that_.”

Rin shrugged. “As long as they have a nice personality.”

“And hot? Like your roommate?” Haru teased.

“Hey! When did I call Sousuke, _hot_?”Rin gritted his teeth in feigned annoyance.

“He isn’t?”

“He is! Ah--,” Rin widen his eyes, surprised by his own words.

Haru tried to contain his laugh.

”Haru, you--!” He growled before turning serious again. “I’m rooting for you and Makoto now though.”

It was Haru’s turn to be surprised. Rin was getting better in reading him. He turned to Rin when he heard his friend chuckle.

“Really you two. You and Makoto should stop running in circles when it comes to your feelings.”

“And you should stop being familiar with Makoto.”

“And you should stop with that jealousy. Seriously Haru,” Rin grinned.

“Shut up. I told you I’m not,” Haru turned to his side once more, a small smile still on his lips.

Rin shifted to his side too. “Good night Haru.”

“Good night Rin.”

 

* * *

 

Haru could not have guessed where Rin would take him next. 

“This is what I’ve been wanting to show you,” Rin said as he gestured to the stadium in front of them. “This is the place where international swimming competitions are held.”

They went inside and Haru took note of the two pools inside. Rin snickered beside him.

“Come on, we’ll be swimming here.”

“Can we swim here?”

“Of course, anyone can swim here.”

“But I didn’t bring my jammers.”

Rin was already walking towards the changing room. “That’s fine. I’ll lend you one.”

Haru followed Rin in the locker room and changed. As they got nearer to the pool, Haru noticed some swimmers warming up at the side of the pool. He motioned them to Rin.

Rin grinned. “If those aren’t the National Team.”

“Wait -- can we really swim here?”

“There’s a recreational pool over there since swimming with the National Team can be intimidating,” Rin turned to him with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Haru knew that he was being teased. “What should we do, Haru?”

With unsure steps, Haru made his way towards the starting block, ignoring the stare of the team members. As usual, Rin walked like he owned the place. If it weren’t for Rin with him, Haru would doubt swimming in this place. But he could not back down when he was taunted as well. He tried shaking off any strangeness he felt ever since he set foot in this country.

When he stepped in the starting block, the smell of chlorine hit him. The water in front of him was clear and glinting. Haru itched to wade through that water, to conquer it like nobody had done before. It was like stepping in the sunlight after a long winter.

One of the team members came up to the lane next to him and after greeting Haru, the guy dived in the water. Excitement pumped in Haru’s blood. He had to dive and feel the water in his skin. It’s like forever since the last time he submerged in it. As he breathed in, he could see the crowd cheering above them. They no longer intimidated Haru.

They said that different people suit different lights. Some shine under the stage light. Others under the light of the lamp. For Haru, he belonged here, under the stadium light.

“Haru, let’s go too,” Rin said.

But did not have to say it because Haru would dive to the place where his heart was.

 

* * *

 

Haru walked into their hotel room after showering and was feeling refreshed, inside and out. When they got out of the stadium, the world outside did not seem a tiny bit intimidating at all. Haru felt light. If Rin did not drag him outside, he’d most likely stay in the pool for ages. 

On the way home, he told Rin about his new found dream. His friend was more than happy than him.

Haru searched for Rin in the room and found him near the window, talking on his cellphone.

“Yeah, yeah. Our flight’s tomorrow,” Rin paused and chuckled, “you don’t have to do that Makoto. You just can’t wait to see him huh?”

Haru froze. Rin had mentioned talking with Makoto before but it still felt unreal seeing those two having conversation. He did not have the slightest idea how in the world these two came to be in a first name basis. But all he could hear and think off at the moment was a certain person; the person he feared of losing, if he had not already.

Even after Rin and him retired to their bed, Haru could not shut off his mind. Flashes of what happened that night came back at him and the excitement he felt earlier had died down. When he goes back to Japan, he wanted to show Makoto what he had found and perhaps make him proud. He wanted Makoto to still walk by his side, or take his hand as the other guy pulls him out of the pool, or simply greeting him ‘Good morning’ every day. Haru hoped Makoto to still be there as he pursues his dream. But he could not shake the possibility that Makoto might not want to be in the picture Haru dreamed of painting. He squeezed his eyes shut and let himself be consumed by the infinite darkness.


	14. Summer Scent

Going back to Japan felt like attending your own trial. It’s like it’s going to be the end of the world. Haru’s world.

If possible, Haru wanted to suspend the plane mid-air if that would prolong their arrival time. All this time, Haru sighed, cleared his throat, flipped through the magazine pages Rin bought, then putting it down before picking it up again. He tried sleeping. He even tried his _phone_. When he got tired of trying everything, he sat back and waited for the inevitable.

Rin watched him the whole time but said nothing.

Haru was grateful for that. He was too busy keeping his heart from leaping off of him to have a proper conversation. In a few hours, he was going to see Makoto. The idea lurched his heart forward. He stared at his reflection on the window and tried to remember the last time they saw each other. It was easy summoning that memory, but going through it once more never gets easier. The pain, the anger, they were still fresh.

But judging from Makoto’s features, it was harder. When Makoto told him that he was going to Tokyo to study, he lacked the usual brightness he exuded. It was replaced with determination... and a bit of hurt. Like, it could have been easier to tell it to Haru at a different time and place.

Haru thought otherwise. Things would still be the same however you put it. It would always hurt. Because Makoto’s going away. He’s going away even before Haru sorted his feelings out for everything that’s going on in his life.

Much to his disappointment, the plane landed on time. Haru dragged himself to move and get his things. As usual, he trailed behind Rin. He almost bumped to his friend when Rin stopped walking.

“Hey Ri--”

“Haru! Rin!”

Haru’s words died on his lips. He knew who called them without even seeing the person. But Haru was not ready yet. He barely had time to compose himself. Yet standing not far from them was the person he least wanted to see. Makoto waved at them with that bright smile of his. 

Rin strode to Makoto’s direction and Haru had no choice but to follow behind.

“Makoto!” Rin walked faster. “You came all this way to meet us?”

“Yeah. You must be tired after your trip.”

Haru stood there, watching his friends and feeling awkward. His eyes met Makoto’s and the words completely dried on his lips.

“Haru,” Makoto smiled. “Welcome home.”

It felt like the sun finally came out after a long winter, melting the ice and hugging everyone with its warm rays.

“I’m home.”

Haru’s knees almost buckled due to relief. Makoto welcomed him home. It was as if Makoto was not just welcoming him back home, but also back to his life. It’s like getting back something you thought you would never have again.

Beside him, he knew Rin was grinning. Rin _was_ definitely having a field day but Haru ignored him.

“Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting,” Makoto said.

They all walked towards the exit with Makoto and Rin conversing about their trip like old friends. Haru was still bewildered with this but decided that it was better than nothing. Every now and then, Makoto would glance at Haru and Haru could not help but blush.

“I’m gonna go meet up with my team,” Rin said as they got off in a bus stop.

Haru could not just let Rin go like this. _This_ is the perfect time to say what he had wanted to say back in Australia. Rin deserved this much.

“Rin!” Haru called out. “Thank you!”

Rin grinned and waved as he walked away from them.

 

* * *

 

“This really is nationals,” Makoto said. “Everyone’s so fast!” 

After parting with Rin, they met up with Rei and Nagisa beside the pool. Their friends wanted to practice a little more before joining them. So Haru and Makoto waited in the stands, watching their friends and other swimmers down in the pool.

Haru took in everything; the familiarity of their surroundings, the smell of the pool, the air, the signs, the people. He really was back in Japan. He’s home. He belonged in a place like this. _Beside him,_ he thought.

He stared at Makoto who watched the pool below them without a word. Makoto seemed to have set his mind to sweep all the things that happened under the rug but Haru was not okay with that.

“Makoto,” he started. “I said something really awful to you before. I’m sorry.”

The guy looked up from the pool to him, gaping.

“Haru... No, I’m the one who’s sorry. For not being able to tell you about my plans.”

Haru watched his friend as the other looked back at the swimmers below them.

“I felt like I wasn’t suited for competitive swimming. The world of competition isn’t for me. So I’d been thinking I’d just go to our local college or something, since there wasn’t anything in particular I wanted to do.”

Makoto glanced up at him but Haru motioned him to continue.

“But then, I ended up helping Coach Sasabe at the club. At first, I only thought of it as helping him out. But then, I started really having fun teaching the kids how to swim.”

A small smile played on Haru’s lips. He’d seen Makoto around his siblings and he was good at taking care of them. He’s so at ease with children.

“I met Hayato, and I really wanted to do something to help him swim. Remember how you gave me advice when I was at a loss over him?”

“I didn’t really do anything...”

Makoto smiled fondly. “When I taught Hayato how to do backstroke, he told me _“I’m not scared of swimming anymore! I had fun!”_ It made me so happy. That’s why I wanted to show even more kids just how fun it is to swim!”

Makoto stood straight and faced Haru. Those green eyes looked so clear, so determined like when he decided to try swimming again.

“I want to join the teaching side of the swim world. To learn how to do that, I’m going to college in Tokyo. That’s the dream I’ve found for myself,” Makoto beamed.

“I see. You’ll definitely make it happen,” Haru smiled back.

“Thanks! All that studying won’t be easy though.”

Haru inched closer to Makoto, lightly knocking their shoulders. “Thank you too.”

Haru straightened up. “There’s something I’d like to tell you.”

Makoto waited for him to continue.

“Before now, I never cared about times or winning. I only swam because I wanted to. If I worried about those things, my swimming would lose its meaning. That’s what I thought.”

He thought of all the things that happened in Australia. “Rin has a dream of swimming on the world level. He’s about to dive in to the world of competitive swimming to fulfil that dream. So should I really go into that world just because I want to swim?

Haru could see Makoto’s jaw tightened, one of the other’s habits when he silently berated himself. Haru continued. “Go into that world of wins and losses? That’s not right. I’m not like Rin. I don’t have strong feelings toward swimming like he does. That’s why, I wasn’t able to respond to the things you said to me.”

“Haru--,” Makoto started but Haru waved him off.

“I couldn’t believe that a dream was something I could find just by looking. But then, Rin took me with him and showed me all these different sights. I realized how big the world really is. And then, I found it...”

“I want to swim in that world,” Haru watched the pool below. “I want to keep on swimming. So I’m going to start caring about times and winning. For the sake of my dream.”

“Your trip turned out to be meaningful to you Haru! I’m happy for you!”

Haru shook his head. “If you didn’t push me to consider back then or called Rin, I wouldn’t have found it.”

Makoto scratched the back of his head.

“You didn’t even tell me to compete just like everybody else. You just wanted me to find a dream -- any dream. Thank you,” Haru knocked their shoulders again which Makoto returned.

When Haru thought Makoto was not listening to him, Haru said in a barely audible voice, “I wish you were there.”

Makoto bumped their shoulders and whispered, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogues are from the anime. :)


	15. Eternal Summer

Haru stands in one of the steps staring down the stairs. There is no sign of Makoto. His mind rewinds to the previous events of the day and thinks hard if there are changes in their schedule, or Makoto had simply forgotten. But that unusually happens.

Except today has been unusual.

Rei and Nagisa invited Makoto and Haru to come home and attend the festival with them. It has only been months when they both have moved to Tokyo. They are on their summer break. While there are lots of things that need to do this summer, the two figured it would not hurt to go back home once in awhile.

As per usual, Makoto picked up Haru in his house before heading to their flight. Haru was enjoying his morning bath when he heard footsteps coming towards the bath. Instead of panicking, he eased himself more into the water. He waited for the usual scolding he got from Makoto when he stayed too long in the bath.

Makoto peeked his head from the door and said, “Are you in there, Haru?” He smiled with the I-knew-it look all over his features. 

But instead of trotting inside and taking Haru out of the bath, Makoto just said, “I’ll wait outside” and crossed the door.

Haru sat straight, some water splashing over the tub. Makoto never waited outside. Of course, he did not barge in when they barely knew each other. But now, the act seemed natural especially once they got closer. Are we? Haru thought.

He shook his head and sighed. This was alright. It was never Makoto’s duty to babysit him. He was not Haru’s guardian. But still, the act made him feel… alone.

Haru brushed away any thoughts and pulled himself from the water. Within few minutes, he had changed. Then he was out by the door where his friend was waiting.

Makoto gave him a gentle smile, the contagious one, the kind where it warmed Haru from head to toe and down to the depths of his core. The smile that reminds him of summer in the middle of winter.

“Good morning, Haru.”

Haru knew that this was the day. No matter what was Makoto’s answer was, everything would be alright.

 

* * *

 

Staring at the empty staircase, Haru becomes unsure of himself. Taking that one step, that one big step, is terrifying enough. If Makoto takes two steps back, Haru is not sure he could handle it. Still, he is willing to gamble. Just like what Makoto taught him.

Haru turns on his heel and climbs to the top of the staircase. He reaches the top and sighs with relief. Makoto leans on the railings with his back on Haru.

With each careful steps, Haru walks towards his friend until he reaches his side. Makoto flinches, but Haru keeps his eyes on the sea.

“Are you mad at me?” Haru asks, his eyes fixed on the sea.

“Wha--,” Makoto shifts beside him.

“You’ve been avoiding me today,” Haru stared at his friend. “I might have done something that I did not know.

Makoto relaxes and smiles. “It’s not like that,” he looks down and becomes suddenly focused on his shoes. “It’s just…”

Haru waited until his friend finishes the sentence but the guy never did. Impatience gnaws at Haru.

“...I don’t know how to say it.”

“Makoto. This isn’t like you.” The Makoto Haru knows might be a ball of sunshine and rainbows, but he always goes straight to the point.

“Well, I’ve never been like myself these past few days.” Makoto tried meeting Haru’s eyes before turning away to the ocean, a faint blush forming on his cheek. “I’ve been thinking of a lot of things and how I would tell them to you.”

Haru follows his friend’s gaze. “I thought we’ve gotten closer,” he muttered. “So you can tell me everything, and I’ll listen.”

“No, Har--, I mean yes, we are closer!” Makoto’s voice drops. “I actually want us to be much closer.” 

Makoto faces his friend which makes Haru turn to meet those green eyes.

“How close?” Haru asked, his voice above a whisper. He takes a step towards Makoto until they are standing close to each other. “This close?”

Makoto’s breath hitches, Haru can tell. They are standing real close to each other; it’s hard to miss even the small movements. With Haru’s hyper-awareness to his friend, he notices everything, like Makoto’s shallow and fast breathing.

“What if I said I wanted something even closer?” Makoto leans down until their faces are few inches apart. He struggles to maintain their eye contact. He inches closer, his lips ghosting over Haru’s. “Like this?”

Haru holds his breath and stares at those green eyes. Makoto is gauging his reaction. Haru knows that if he took a step back, Makoto would get his message and they are back to just friends. It’s very Makoto, he thought. The other guy always gives him options. He is good at leaving an opening for Haru. Like what he’s doing now.

A small smile form on Haru’s lips. His eyes wonder from those green orbs to the lips then back. He hopes Makoto gets the message. They both have been holding back long enough. 

“I don’t mind.”

Then Haru closes that distance.

At first, it is just lip touching another lip. Haru worries that he might have read Makoto wrong. Makoto soon relaxes and put his arms around Haru. It’s more of a loose hug. And then they are kissing. Haru could feel Makoto’s smile though his kiss which sent flutters down to Haru’s gut. Haru smiles back and leans his body towards the other guy.

Haru thinks that this is his best summer yet. But to be fair, he has been having nothing but best summers since Makoto came along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long overdue post. ;;; I don't know if anyone's still reading this. If you do, thank you. To all of you, thank you very much reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Started a new MakoHaru fic! :) I'm still not used to multi-chapter fic so please bear with me. ^^;;  
> There might also be anime and drama CD references. I hope you enjoy!


End file.
